Disclaimer: "Someone's Watching Over Me" is Hilary Duff's and others'. All rights are theirs. No infringement intended.

The Twenty-sixth of the Twelfth Month

II. The Song Sleeping in my Soul

The night grew thick bringing more of the bitter-cold air, and the chorus of cicadas grew louder, but the night, itself, is awfully silent- droning a whisper of sorrow like an elegy hummed by an invincible choir. Or maybe it's just my ear- probably.

I pondered at the questions I brought up, taking it apart, swallowing each word, and recalling what is left of my faith. For an hour I became a fool, capable of turning down my faith because of a circumstance that can never be stopped. A circumstance I could learn from if I looked into it positively.

In this old house, time stopped, and within its frame I created a door that opens on both sides- to His light and to the shadow His light creates. My feet hesitate as to where I should go. With my eyes closed, I stepped forth, following where my heart would lead me.

My right hand played on as my head rested on my arm on top of the piano, repeating the questions to myself. Is He listening? Will I make it until then? Will I hang on to Him? How long? Should I trust more? Will He trust me? And on...

And I found myself bouncing back to the One, who seems to be the answer to it all. Christ, easily forgotten, doubted upon, spitted on. But He is, the answer to it all. "All your cares and all your burdens should be cast upon His throne." (1)

"He took my life into His hands
And turned it all around
In my most desperate circumstance
It's there I finally found
That You are strong enough
That You are brave enough
To break me, pour me out and start again
That You arestrong enough
To take one chance on me
Oh thank You for my chance to start again"

And the least I did was doubt him.

And the words, 'letting go' became alien words to me.

I watched mindlessly as my fingers shifted on the keys, unaware of the music it creates. Catching the tune, I perked up my head as I free my other arm and positioned myself, repeating the notes once or twice until the melody sunk in. Repeating and frustrated the next because notes slip off easily if not written down, trapped in a piece of paper. And then recalled, captured, and stored in memory.

Must be the song sleeping in my soul.

So I won't give up
No I won't break down...

My voice floated about the room, soaring as the notes soar.

Sooner than it seems
Life turns around

And I will be strong

Even if it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark

I'll still believe

Someone's watching over me

Something in me awakes anew, calling the words resting in my mouth.

Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away

Didn't I?

With a jacket on and a flashlight in my hand, I ran away from home trying to find the answers I couldn't inside the painted walls of my room. My feet sped up to this house blindly treading on small rocks, grasses, puddles of mud, and the cold pavement, loaded with fears and doubts.

Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had

Wasn't He?

The voice of reason I have in my soul. He's always here. My run away is simply my way of running onto Him. My run away is simply my heed to His calling.

Seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny

Shining all the time

And I won't be afraid

To follow everywhere it's taking me

This day, this day is no different to the days I had. Life, itself, is full of uncertainties.

All I know is yesterday is gone

All this pain will belong to yesterday. Life will go on, as long as the sun arises. Life will go on.

And right now I belong

Took this moment to my dreams

Now will someday fade to yesteryears and yesterday, someday we'll look far into the drifting sun and wait for its return but for now we'll gaze among the stars in heaven as they look down upon us, burning as they glimmer.

So I won't give up

No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems

Life turns around

And I will be strong

Even if it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark

I'll still believe

Someone's watching over me

Sometimes it is the blinded faith that saves. Pushes on and holds back. Sometimes, it is the only thing that holds together the scattered pieces of ones soul, builds it together, mends the cracks, and let goes to set one soul in the sky, the one that watches the soul fly.

I breathed hard as I finished the song. I didn't notice the tears streaking on my face and the shadow casting over me. I looked up to see the owner of the form trapping the light coming from the moon. Our eyes met as the wind caressed her tresses gracefully. "Mama..." I muttered. I did not expect she'd follow. She unfolded the blanket in her arms and draped it over my shoulders. "It's time to go home, Melissa." She said, smiling down on me. Hesitating, I blurted out my worry, "Mama, if Papa..."

"We'll be fine. Life will go on." She answered, cutting short my question. Although her answer was calm, the pain is undeniably traceable but she denied herself that feeling when she smiled at me, so resplendently, I couldn't help but reflect it. I stood up from the stool and flung my arms around her neck like the way I used to when I was a child. I still am a child and I think I'll always be- to my mother and father, and to my Father in heaven. "It's almost twelve, Melissa." She whispered and I let go. It's time to go home. I covered the keyboards of the piano and picked up the flashlight then she put an arm around my shoulder and together, we walked out the door and into the night.

She, too, is the voice of reason I always have that sometimes I forgot. Someone who'll pull me back- anytime.

I looked into the multi-colored stars burning brightly and the moon resting on the clouds. On endless nights, the lights(3) never leave- look on, hope on and walk on. They're watching and their love never leaves. It burns on as long as the sun rises. It burns on.


In a world where there seems no presence of a divine being, how will a soul tell another of its own that everything will be all right? Each of our worlds exist, it is possible to co-exist. Break the barrier, reach a hand.


(1) Gary Valenciano, "Letting Go"

(2) Continuing parts of the song, "Strong Enough" by Stacie Orrico

(3) Lights- the gods we praise and pray to. Used intentinally to set a common ground among the non-Christians. Jesus is depicted in the Bible as the Light of the World. The story calls for equality despite religion differences.