Wednesday

On Wednesday
I wished she wouldn't come-
Come to talk to me…
But it never came true.

She pulled me out of class,
Started casual conversation…
Until we got to her office.

At first,
She seemed caring,
Kind…
Almost like she really cared about me.

She told me that they told her:
Told her all about me;
Told her that they were worried about me.

I don't know if it felt nice,
Or what,
But I could feel.

She asked about my life,
My siblings,
If I cut- where,
And if I really wanted to die.

I told her my sister died
About six years ago,
That I cut- where you couldn't see,
And that I did want to die.

I still think
She thinks
That I'm suicidal.

I don't think
That I'm suicidal-
I think that I just don't want to live:
Yes,
There is a difference.

So she called my dad,
Told him that my friends came to her,
And he picked me up,
Took me to lunch,
And treated me as if I was a damned piece of china.
His girlfriend first acted as if it was a laughing matter-
Then asked if it was true.
I said yes.

I wished twice,
But none came true.