I wrote this at like....1 am? It's not meant to be awesomely written, its just supposed to be weird and odd, so don't think flames will hurt my feelings.
Just for clarification...Italics, is the story. (Parenthesis is the writer's out loud speech) and ---these are outside speakers---
Once upon a time there was-
(nononono- too lame....let me think, what is a good- oh yeah-)
Once, long, long time ago-
(I had readers- no! Too boring! Um...hmm..)
Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
( a girl got sued for copying Spielberg. Alright, just skip to the stupid story-)
Kiera wielded her weapon with-
---MOM SAYS DID YOU FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK?---
(she ASKED, not said!)
(If MOM said something, it would be a statement, but if she asked something, its a question!)
(YES, I FINISHED MY HOMEWORK!)
Kiera swung her weapon with-
(wait, what was I doing?)
Kiera used her STUPID weapon on her opponent. The masked man sneered and said-
(wait, if he's masked, how can we know he sneered?)
The masked man chuckled and said, "Kie-
(You know, now that I think about it, Kiera doesn't sound like a warrior name. It sounds like she's the girl who ran to Bambi after his mother died and said "Oh poor sweet deer, I shall take care of you forever more!" Ummm....)
Tatsu used her weapon on her opponent. The masked man sneered and said, "Tatsu, your day has come." Tatsu flung back her
(flung? Flew, flug, flang, flung? Huh- whatever)
long black hair, and laughed.
"You nefarious felon!"
(No thank you, Officer Crupky)
"You pathetic man!"
The masked villain glared at her-
(grr! That mask!)
(GO away, I'm trying to write a story here!)
---MOM SAYS STOP POUNDING THE KEYS SO LOUD, SHE'S GOING CRAZY!---
(Well if she got me a laptop with the new keyboards that are silent, so I could plug it in my room-then she wouldn't hear me!)
The masked villain growled and -
(WHAT?! YOU ARE CAUSING A LEAK IN THE POOL OF MY CREATIVE GENIUS!)
---MOM SAYS YOU HAVE TO TAKE PEPPER FOR A WALK---
(rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! You people make me so mad, I could just-!)
The masked villain growled and shouted, "Leave me alone for crying out loud! Can't anyone get some peace around here? Pepper is HIS STUPID DOG!" Tatsu looked at him oddly.
"What?" He smiled sheepishly.
(Huh? The mask again, but what?)
"Why did you say that?" The masssksked man saisaisaid "Iiii dont' knowowowowow."
(What the? That's not what I wrote!)
Tatsu glaredlaredglared at himimimimimimimandnaandandandnand saidssiadisaidshesaidhsaiehssishsishsesheshheee
"Well what do you know," she hissed, looking up a few dozen lines. She shaded her eyes as she read the large print above her. "I don't think you said it at all. In fact..." She reached out and grabbed the writer.
(WHAT THE! YAH? HELP! WHAT IN The world is going on?" said the writer, looking very confused. Tatsu swung her weapon menacingly.
"It was YOU!"
"What the? Eh?" Tatsu and the masked man glared at her.
"But the mask..." added the writer, looking up at the type. "You don't know if he's glaring or not!" The masked man advanced with menace.
"Trust me- I'm glaring!" The writer cringe and looked around at all the oddness.
"Um...where are your clothes?" Tatsu and the masked man looked down.
"It appears we have none."
"And even if we did," added the masked man. "What would we put them on?" The writer noticed she had never really given them bodies. She grinned sheepishly.
"Oops, heheh, now wait a minute!" She looked around and watched in horror as her words flew across the screen. Reaching up, she tried to
catch one, but only succeeded in messing up the line of type, throwing almost everything else off balance for a moment.
"Just great,"grumbled Tatsu, flunging back her black hair. The writer coughed politely.
"What?" snapped Tatsu.
"I think uh...I think it's 'flinging'." They scowled. "But I could be wrong." she squeaked, trying to ignore the fact that you couldn't see the masked man's scowl behind the mask. He folded his arms and tapped one foot.
"You have me all riled up, missy. First,you change who I was fighting, then you-"
"No I didn't!" she interrupted,cutting off his sentence from forming in mid-air. "I just changed the name!"
"I almost liked Kiera too," sniffed Tatsu.
"You changed her from an honorable fighter, to this Lucy Lu wanna be!" The writer coughed.
"WHAT?" they demanded.
"Um, you need to add one of these things...'....," she said, plucking one from the air, "After wanna, so it becomes wanna', and then , you need to capitalize 'they', because it's...." She faded away, as their gazes became more menacing, even though you couldn't see the masked man's face. Tatsu clenched her weapon,and the masked man cracked his knuckles.
"Get her." The writer screamed and ran from them, reaching higher to climb up on the flying text,grabbing hold onto a passing 'g'. As she righted herself, she saw Tatsu and the masked man running under her.
"I'll help you up!" said the masked man to Tatsu. The writer climbed up on the sentences, but slipped when her foot crashed into the hole of a 'u',and tri
ped, upsetting the line, and sending it crashing down upon Tatsu and the masked man. They groaned loudly, and finally Tatsu growled as she fought to her feet.
"That's it!" With one long smack, Tatsu managed to smack the writer right out again.
"Hey! OW, you wench, that HurT! WATCH IT!)
Tatsu pulled out her weapon, and faced the masked man.
"Allright,where were we?"
(Huh? I'm back? YES! Oh thank you thank you!)
(OH! Yes my dear,dear brother?)
---HUH? MOM SAYS STOP YELLING---
(Of course, my beloved sibling!)
(Wow. Those two weren't so nice to me. In fact, they were downright rude! Let's see if I can't teach them some manners!)
Tatsu suddenly bacame attacked by a seven-headed dragon,whose only words were, "Flung, flang, fleng, flinged, flanged!" which it yelled, over and over and over. The masked man finally got his mask ripped off, and it was a fish head. Then, his clothes morphed into a pink, sparkly ballet tutu that read "I'm the princess pat!", and they lived forever like that, the end.
(Yep, heh.....best story I ever wrote.)