U.S. Marine Corps
By Lady E

Author's Notes: This snippet shot into my brain while I was reading a book about the U.S. military. There's not much point to it, but it amused me, and I hope you'll at least gain a laugh from it.

Interviewer: You are Ms. Tori Black?

Interviewee: Yes, sir.

Interviewer: You serve for the U.S. Marine Corps—recently returned from active duty.

Interviewee: Yes, sir.

Interviewer: You have served for four years.

Interviewee: Not quite, sir. Three years, seven months, and counting.

Interviewer: You came out of the Academy with top marks. Would you say you're good at it?

Interviewee: Good at getting top marks, sir.

Interviewer: Hm. Do you like your fellow Marines?

Interviewee: Mostly, sir.

Interviewer: Not all, then? That is to be expected. You enjoy your time here?

Interviewee: Certainly, sir.

Interviewer: So you like the Marine Corps.

Interviewee: No, sir.

Interviewer: You do not like the Marine Corps?

Interviewee: I do not, sir.

Interviewer: But you enjoy your time here?

Interviewee: Yes, sir.

Interviewer: Let me try that again. How would you describe the Marine Corps?

Interviewee: It's a load of shit, sir.

Interviewer: I see…

Interviewee: Permission to speak, sir

Interviewer: Denied. I will arrive at the end of this on my own time. So you don't think very much of the Marines, but you enjoy serving as one. Am I to conclude that you don't think very much of yourself or that you have gone insane?

Interviewee: Sir, I…

Interviewer: Be quiet. That was a rhetorical question. Of course, the concepts of "enjoying" and "thinking" are two very different things. You are good at it, so you enjoy it, but you think it a waste of time?

Interviewee: No, sir. The rigid discipline and rigorous schedule are enjoyable and not at all a waste of time. It is the concept of the institution I think little of.

Interviewer: The concept. Then you do not believe in serving your country, protecting your country? You would rather the U.S. had no means of defending itself?

Interviewee: I do not believe in war, sir.

Interviewer: Is that so! Who would have thought—a pacifist in the Marine Corps, in our very own ranks. You are aware I am your senior officer?

Interviewee: Of course, sir.

Interviewer: Very well. You may be dismissed.

Note: I honestly don't intend any offense or insult to anyone here. It's simply a random bout of "creativity," if it may even be called as much, with no purpose, no bigger picture, and barely any thought behind it. So I apologize profusely if anyone does take offense to it. (If it really bothers you, let me know and I'll take it down.)

January 20, 2005