Now the first and foremost rule
That they teach in poet school
Is to make your poems endlessly obscure.
If the reader is confused
He will be the more enthused
As he puzzles over arcane metaphors.
Disregard your punctuation
And forget capitalization
Every shred of readability must go.
Don't worry if it's mistakeful
It will keep the reader wakeful
And it keeps a lazy listener on his toes.
Fashion cantos long and wandering
And a meaning deep and pondering
Only then can any poem satisfy.
Create symbols most ambiguous
Make lines lengthy and circuitous
And your audience will be truly gratified.
Make your stanzas long and tedious
Critics will call it ingenious
And make bestsellers out of your inanities.
With benignly hopeful smiles
They will read your poems while
Your verses slowly eat away their sanity.
If these simple rules you follow
Then the readers they will swallow
All your work with most tenacious piety.
Although they won't understand it
They will nonetheless demand it
As you write your way to notoriety.