Ch. 10

Scars never heal

One week later:

I opened the car door. There was a melancholy look on my face as I walked towards the family of the deceased. I was wearing a black dress just as everyone else was. The sounds of sobs and stories of past memories could be heard. I saw her. His mother. She saw me and forced a smile. I walked slowly towards her and gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Kutcher" I whispered in her ear.

"Honey I'm sorry too. He loved you so much. All he could ever say were beautiful loving comments about you. You don't realize how much he was in love with you" she said crying.

Tears filled my eyes. I started to sob on her shoulder.

"Thank-you" I cried softly.

"How is your recovery dear?" she said changing the subject.

"Nicely thank-you"

I turned to Peter's father and hugged him. He was strong and was holding back the tears.

"Darling its going to be alright" He said hugging me back.

I sobbed more. God why couldn't I be strong about this?! Because I loved him is why! I need to be strong though. For his mother's sake. I saw all his friends and sat down among them. They all hugged me. I fought back the tears. I saw Frank and Ciara walk in. I motioned them towards me. Frank's face was blank. He blamed himself for this. Ciara was crying and holding onto him. They sat down beside me. I hugged Frank.

"Don't blame yourself Frank"

"Why not!? I was driving!" He said bursting into tears.

"Its not your fault baby" Ciara said hugging him

The service started as the minister spoke. He did the usual blessings and then asked the family and friends to speak. I was supposed to speak along with Andy. We both stood and walked towards the stage. Andy went first and told of old memories about how he could always make someone smile and make them happy and what a great friend he was. Then he turned to me. I walked over to the podium and looked out into the huge crowd.

"It was only three weeks ago that Peter was up in front of a crowd like this. Dedicating his amazing speech to me about how I helped him overcome his will for suicide, how I was so strong of a person, how I loved him, how I still love him, how his friends and family were the greatest thing in his life. Look at us all now. We cry at his death. He doesn't want this. We need to celebrate his amazing love-filled life. I love Peter with all my heart and always will. He will always be with us, protecting us and loving us. He loved us all just like he loved this song. I bet everyone remembers him always singing this song" I turned on the boom-box that was beside me. The sound of Blue and Yellow- The used came on.

"And it's all in how you mix the two,
And it starts just where the light exists.
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
And it burns a hole,
through everyone that feels it.

Well your never gonna find it,
If your looking for it,
won't come your way,
Well you'll never find it,
if your looking for it.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking,
Rather waste some time with you.

And you never would have thought in the end,
How amazing it feels just to live again,
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
it burns a hole, through everyone that feels it

Well you're never gonna find it,
If your looking for it, won't come your way, yea
Well you'll never find it, if you're looking for it.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.

Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste some time with you.

Time with you...
Waste some time with you...

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste my time with you.

Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste my time with you.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, my hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.

Waste some time with you..."

Tears filled everyone's eyes. I looked down at my arm. The bruises and scars that were on them from the night of the accident. The bruises will go away. But the scars will stay to forever remind me what I lost that night. Love, Passion, Peter.

"God bless you Peter. I love you so much"