Heyhey. If you ride a Bus 4, then please tell me. I love Bus 4-riders. They're cool. Or Bus 836. Either will do...BTW, this took place in the afternoon. And it never REALLY happened. Some of our inside jokes are in here...laugh. They're now your inside jokes too. I hate inside jokes, because while they're hilarious, you look like an idiot when reminding friends of them, but they're SO MUCH FUN. So now they're everyone's.

(Note to my friends: I still love inside jokes... ...just trying to make everyone feel better about NOT understanding mine... BEAR WITH ME PEOPLE!!! CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE!!!)

(we are at school...in our classes...it's middle school again...I'm in ... ... ALGEBRA CLASS!!!)

Me: falling asleep

Evil Em: The answer is ... -6x.

Mrs. Blackwell: Good job, Emily! You're finally getting the hang of this.

Evil Em: smiles sweetly, only since she's evil, all of her emotions are evil, and they make my ... diaphragm hurt

Mrs. Blackwell: Well ... seeing as there's only a few more minutes left, you can pack up now. Don't forget to do your homework!

((BTW, Mrs. B. is one of the awesomest teachers I've EVER had... just for the record...))

Evil Em: I'm going to be riding the bus today. I've got my ginormous cello, too.

Me: Heheh. Great. Oh joy. gives weak smile


Me: scurries from blah blah classroom to escape wrath of Evil EM

Michael: How was your day?

Me: Greeat. No INSANITY. That's what I need.

Michael: You are crazy. See you later. gets on bus

Me: climbs stairs to bus

(There's terrible music from, like, Virginia Beach or Roanoke playing...it's all fuzzy, and the music sux anyways...)

Emily: PAIGE!!

Me: emily...

Ben: The Skittles are coming.

Me: What happened to the ducks?

Ben: What?

Emily: "The ducks are watching???"

Ben: Oh. Well...they stopped watching.

Me: Urgh. Good.

Ben: But now the Skittles are coming.

Me: Urgh. Whatever.

Tyler: Can I have a hug?

Me: Fine gives Tyler hug whatever...YOU'RE WEARING YELLOW!!! MY EYES ARE BURNING!!!

Tyler: Whaaat?

Me: AARRRGH!!! holds eyes no, nevermind, covers eyes

Erin: Translation: "You never wear yellow." It's true; you always wear black.

Tyler: Well, it's this or nothing...

Emily: This. Yellow. My eyes are already burning at the thought... eyes burn looks nasty grows new eyes

Erin: looks out window Hey, it's RAINING!!

Me: oooooooooooooh joy.

Emily: OOOOH!! It's RAINING!! sticks head out window This rain tastes GOOD!

Erin: Emily...

Emily: OMG!!

Erin: ...God spiked the rain... We need help here!!!

Carolyn: looks at Emily funny She's gonna need to go into rehab...

Ben: My ears are hot.

Good Em: Okay... turns to Amber and starts talking to her

Ben: I need to open a window. My ears are hot.

Emily: still high from spiked rain I'm cold. Keep the windows shut.

Ben: opens window..He's sitting in front of all of us, so we all get cold and wet Aah, my ears.

Emily: You have hot ears?? (WTH?)

Ben: Yes. They're red.

Emily: looks at Ben's white ears No...they're not red...

Ben: Well, they're hot. I get it from my Aunt.

Me: shrugs WAIT! It's pronounced "ant."

Ben: No, ONT.

Tyler: That's Jewish.

Sam: HEY!! I'M JEWISH!!!

Tyler: So you are, young man. Who the hell careS?

Me: I do.

Tyler: Oh...well, I don't. Help me prove my point...

Me: Grr.

Tyler: Or not.

Emily: Hi...

Me: Hi...

Andrew: HEHEE!! I ate all of my Demon Bunnies. frowns

Me: I'm gonna write a story about that.

Andrew: HEHEE!! okay.

Emily: I'm gonna kiss you, Andrew.

Andrew: HEHEE... She's not kidding. HELP! COOTIES!!

ME: He hee.

(Emily dives after Andrew into back seat and kisses his head or something)

Erin: eew.

Alexis: Hi. I found a llama in your drawer.

Me: Well, you already accidentally swallowed the camel.

Alexis: It tasted like coffee.

Me: What about Welch's?

Alexis: Welch's is better.

Me: Good.

Alexis: holds up juice bottle But I have OCEAN SPRAY today.

Me: TRAITOR!!! Welch's grape juice? I love Welch's grape juice? Isn't that what all those kids say about Welch's? On the commercial?

Alexis: I guess so.

Evil Em: SHUT UP!!

Me: Heheheh. Welch's Grape Juice? I LOVE Welch's Grape Juice!!

Alexis: Welch's Grape Juice? I LOVE Welch's Grape Juice!

Me: TRAITOR I wanna play Mafia.

Tyler: OK. Since you killed me last chapter, I wanna be the MURDERER.

Me: You can't now.

Tyler: Why?

Me: Cuz it would ruin the WHOLE game if we all knew who the murderer was.

Ben: Fine, then. I will narrarate.

Me: Goodie.

Ben: Who's Playing?

Me: Me!

Emily: Me.

Evil Em: Me!

Erin: MEE!! I wanna narrate next time, though.

Ben: Ok.

Tyler: Can I play?

Ben: Yeah. Who else is playing, though?

Amber: I guess I will.

Good Em: I will, too.

Ben: That all?

crickets chirp

Ben: ALRIGHT. Heads down. It was Groundhog's Day. For breakfast, the people of ... the town of Wyoming ...

Emily: That's a state.

Ben: ... ate buttermilk pancakes, and for lunch they ate egg salad sandwiches. Except the vegetarians and vegans, who ate plants. For dinner, they had a feast of groundhog food.

Emily: ...

Ben: Yes. They were all stuffed to high Heaven. So naturally, everyone went to bed early. As Benjamin Franklin--

Emily: That would be you...

Ben--Grr. Not me. Well, he said, "Early to bed--"

Me: Phlegm needs to use the restroom.

Ben: ...Good for him. HA! His name IS Phlegm. I knew it.

Me: --No; you just don't know him by anything BUT Phlegm. His real name is Fred.

((Just for you readers who don't know me, Fred/Phlegm is my flamingo pen. Ben named him Phlegm during Spanish last year. His real name is Fred Flamingo. I swear.))

Ben: ANYWAYs. He has issues.

((BTW, Phlegm--I mean Fred broke his one and only leg last year. He had to go to the hospital. And then he got thrown away... :( ))

Ben: "Early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." So these townspeople went to bed at five p.m.

Emily: Uh--

Ben: Okay, five thirty. Emily, head DOWN.

Emily: puts head down again

Ben: Well--oh. Ok. If I tap you once, you're the MAFIA. Twice means you're a townsperson. Thrice--

Me: That word reminds me of baby wipes...

Ben: ... Well, three times means you're a defective--

Erin: HEY..

Me: That's mean.

Ben: DETECTIVE, I mean. Okay. Well, heads down. No peeking.

Andrew: I wanna play.

Alexis: ME, too.

Josh: ...

Ben: Ok, you three?

Josh: No, I'm looking at ... stuff ... on my iBook.

Ben: Ok, heads down you two.

they put their heads down. just for the record, the rest of us have our heads down, too. besides Ben

Ben: taps people on heads just so they know what their roles in the game are

Ben: OKEY DOKEY. It's six o'clock, and miraculously, nobody is dead yet. BUT WAIT! The mafia just woke up. Mafia, who d'you want to kill?

Mafia: wakes up points to someone

Ben: Okay. Mafia, go back to sleep.

Mafia: goes back to sleep

Ben: Alright. Someone's just died a tragic death. he he. The detective's heard about this. Detective, wake up. Who do you think the murderer is?

Detective: points to someone

Ben: nods or shakes head; can't tell; it would RUIN the suspense

Ben: It's a lovely morning when everyone wakes up. Everyone except for Paige, that is.

Me: What gives? Why am I always the first one dead??

Ben: You died in a ... blender accident.

Me: ...

Ben: Yes. So who do the townspeople think it is?

Tyler: ...Ben!!

Ben: It can't be me! I'm the narrator, remember?

Tyler: Ok, then it was...Alexis.

Alexis: Uh!

Emily: Yeah.

everyone points at Alexis...

Ben: It's unanimous; Alexis dies ...

Erin: AND?

Ben: ... the mafia lives on.

Me: Way to go, Tyler and Emily.


everyone besides me and Alexis put our heads down

Ben: The townspeople had more groundhog food, and they got hyper. So...they went to bed really late, at six thirty. The Mafia decides at six thirty-three, they want to kill someone else.

Me: Oh nice going guys.

Ben: Shh. Anyways, Mafia wake up.

Alexis: GASP! gasps

Me: I knew it.

Ben: Who d'you want to kill.

Mafia: points at someone

Ben: Ok. Go back to sleep. Detective wake up.

Detective: wakes up

Ben: Who do you want to--ACHOO!!--kill?

Detective: uhh.

Ben: I mean, who do you think it is?

Detective: points

Ben: Okay. Rise and shine, townspeople! Vote for who you think the MAfia is.

Emily: Well...

Tyler: It's Erin.

Ben: By the way, Erin died. A squirrel accident.

Me: Haha.

Erin: meow.

Tyler: Then it was emily.

Emily: Nooo.

Andrew: Yah.

half vote for emily; half vote for evil em

Ben: OK, both die.

Evil Em: W-H-A-T?

Ben: New rules. Buh-bye.

Evil Em: NO FAIR.

Ben: I'm the narrator; I don't have to be fair.

Emily: Y'all just killed your detective.

Ben: Ok, who cares?

Emily: I do.

Ben: Oh well. Anyways. You all go to bed at seven one night. Sort of pushing it...Mafia wake up.

Mafia: wakes up

Ben: Who d'you wanna kill?

Mafia: points to someone

Ben: I'm immortal. You can't kill me. Pick someone else...

Mafia: picks someone else

Ben: Ok. Go to sleep again.

Mafia: puts head down again

Ben: K, townspeople, you can wake up again..

townspeople wake up

Ben: I'm sorry to inform you that Emily C. died. So there are no more Emily's in this game.

Good Emily: Darn.

Ben: Ok. So whodunnit?

Tyler: It was--

Amber: Guys, it looks like someone points fingers at the beginning of every round...Tyler. So I am accusing him.

most vote for Tyler, except Tyler, who votes for Amber "the conspirationisticalish one" and Andrew, who votes for himself...

Ben: Tyler dies ...

Amber: And? ...

Ben: And the Mafia dies.

Tyler: Snap.

Me: No. My word.

Tyler: Fine. SNAPPLE!!!

Me: No, WELCH'S!!!

Tyler: Or--

Alexis: Or Ocean Spray!!

Me: No. Welch's only. Shut it.

Ben: I am going to go shuck some corn.

Erin: There's a corn field in the middle seat.

Tyler: That's my seat.

Me: Too bad for you. Phlegm just went in the cornfield.

Emily: Why?

Me: Just because...

Ben: Didn't you say he had to--ew.

Me: I told you he had to go.

Ben: Just eew.

Tyler: HEY! That's my stuff, Paige.

Me: Do I look like I care?

Tyler: Sadly, no... Avril sucks.

Me: What?

Alexis: Did he just say--


Alexis: She's a smart blond.

Me: That's what you think. Brunettes can shop and talk at the same time. Right, Tyler? Tyler?

Tyler: Sorry, can't talk. I'm shopping for goulash.

Me: Grr.

Emily: Whatever.

Tyler: But she does.

Me: You know what, Tyler...

Tyler: What?

Emily: Yeah, what, Paige? What're you gunna do?

Me: I was planning on defending Avril, SMART BLOND.

Emily: Right...

Carolyn: My stop. Bye.

Emily: Bye...

Me: Anyways, Avril's CD came out May 25, 2004. Sadly, I was deprived of buying it till a week later.

Ben: So sad. So deprived. You know, there are starving Skittles--

Josh: Technically, Skittles are food, so they can't starve.

Ben: I know...shut up.

Me: Josh A., eat tar.

Josh: Okay. I am looking at things on my iBook.

Alexis: Uuh, Josh...keep them to yourself, please.

Me: So yeeah.


Me: And somehow, Ben, Erin, Amber, Evil Em, Good Em, and I are all stuck in middle school.

Erin: That's IB for you.

Tyler: That's Jewish.

Sam: AHEM.

Tyler: ...Oh... Fine, it's ...it's... er ...Shinto!!

Amber: Uh, Tyler, you guys don't even learn about world religions till WHI.

Sam: Yeah...

Tyler: Oh.

Amber: And you're in, like, Civics or something.

Me: One time, in 7th grade in history class, I got an F on an interim. I still have the interim. It would be...2 years old. Only in this story, I'm in 8th grade, soo...it's only one year old.

Evil Em: Oh...

Me: Phlegm is going to die.

Ben: How do you know?

Me: I am psychic.

Emily: I'm the psychic on this bus!!

Me: Just kidding.

Emily: You better be.

Erin: We have DI today...he he he.

Me: Erin...

Ben: It's at MY house. The Skittles are coming.

Josh: THE END!!!

GUYS, look out for more of these random stories.

Next episode: Emily the Psychic tells everyone's futures...