Free Fall
He had never meant it. All those promises, all those sweet words; romance. He had lied. You had allowed him to lead you away from truth and into the knotted webs of his deceit. You let him break you. You gave him everything, made yourself everything and then suddenly…nothing. In the end that was all there was. A deep breath of the wintry air, sharp in your lungs – invigorating. You were numb. "If I hit the ground will I feel it?"You wonder. You can't feel your body, but there's pain. A dull ache; inside. So numb. The thought continued in your mind, silent murmur. You already hit the bottom within…too numb…
You smile softly, your eyes pained. Grey eyes. Hauntingly beautiful, elegantly sombre. White and black, artfully mixed. Black now. Everything, anything, nothing. The words played around in your mind, splintered – misplaced. Like your heart. Free fall.
No. You couldn't. Your friends. Your family.
Fade.
Just him.
Noise. Useless buzz. Static. All the voices became part of it, the voice of reason, but the voice of your heart sang loud and clear. Time to let go, dance on air. Free fall. You heard whispers…your memories, so many. There were voices telling you how smart you were, admiringly. Old memories now. Almost forgotten. And more voices, louder this time, jeering at you in the halls. Talking about you. Lying jerks.
So much pain.
All you had wanted was acceptance. You heard the tears, louder even than the muttered rumours. Then his voice. His voice. So sweet, tender. Deception. Such gentle treachery. The laughter as they passed, you and him hand-in-hand. Your explanation. Ignorant fool. Jump.
Free Fall.
Pain and then pleasure. Love?
Only for you.
Then his boredom. Anything. But I was just me. Idiot. Should have tried harder, should have been better, should have dressed nicer.
Free Fall.
Angels' voices…turning dark with hatred…devils…who knows what they were anymore? Can't even remember…can't hear…can't think…Thinking is trouble…pain…damn this mind.
They were right…they tried to warn me.
I'm sorry. I should have stayed in my place. Loser!
Quieter now. Static fading. Clear. Just a few quiet voices, following me, drifting. Black feathers.
Pen and Paper, Time to Say Goodbye. Scribbled note. In your pocket. They'll search it. They always do.
Fall.
The air is rushing around you; words are following you, racing you. You can beat them. This time the words won't catch you. Just the whistle of air. Finally pure, finally clean.
Free.
Then a second, just a moment of unregistered agony.
Goodbye.
Because all actions have consequences…and all it takes is a single moment…to change everything you knew...
And the note read:
Always yours…anytime you ask…
Call my name; I'll be there.
Mama's little angel. Daddy's best girl. Daddy's only girl.
I love you all. I love you. I'm sorry. Has to end this way.
Brian; My Protector. My big brother. I will be your guardian now…when you need them you can have my wings. I died flying. My Strength. My Love. My Wisdom.
Mama; So sorry…I love you more than you know. God's Strength. God's Love. My Love.
Daddy; I don't want you to cry for me. I'm in your heart. I love you…forever…
Melissa; In the end this is the way it had to be. Don't miss me; I'm still here. Much love.
Aimee; Don't cry for me. There is no more pain. I love you. I'm sorry.
Dante; Your birthday present is in my closet. Remember me when you look at it. Love.
Adam; Goodbye.
A/N: This is my first ever story in second person! I'm rather uncertain about the note at the end; there are certain things thatmay notfitthe character. I am not sure if I should include the character's name. Please read and review to let me know what you think; I really would appreciate constructive criticism because this is so new to me.
Disclaimer: I do not support suicide and with this story I do not mean to encourage anyone to seek release through death. I wrote this story for myself; I suppose you could say I wrote it to show another side, to explore someone's feelings, and what drives one to the edge. In this case, it was the edge of a building.