A/N: Thanks to all reviewed! I really wanted to call this chapter 'She see's dead people' but thought it was a little, uh, too much! Cookies to anyone who regconises the song from which my chapter title is derived...
Chapter Ten - My body is your body, I won't tell anybody...
Sophie couldn't sleep that night, through many different and difficult things racing through her mind. She just couldn't settle, every time she rolled over, another thought came into her head and she'd spend half an hour dissecting it or until the next problem jumped at her.
She sighed angrily and threw off her duvet which was becoming hotter and heavier with every minute that passed. She glanced at her clock by the side of her bed. One twenty in the morning.
Sophie raked her face with her hands, willing sleep. The hair at the back of neck was soaked with sweat and was sticking most uncomfortably to her skin. She rolled over in anger again so she was face down on her pillow and brushed all her hair off her body roughly, allowing some air flow in an attempt to cool her down.
Richard was sitting in with her tonight again for he hadn't seen her much today. It unsettled him when Sophie was fidgety. He liked to watch her sleep peacefully and allow his thoughts to wash over him in the silence but tonight he couldn't get a minute for Sophie kept catching his eye every time she moved. He knew what was troubling her but could offer no comfort.
"Oh!" Sophie exasperated quietly, rolling over once again so she lay on her back and stared up at the ceiling. She pulled at her pyjama top angrily before sitting up and yanking it roughly over her head and tossing it across her room. She did the same with her bottoms, they landed near Richard's feet.
Richard didn't quite know what to do with himself, whether to look away or appreciate it quietly. He always removed himself from such positions way before Sophie got anywhere near being naked but here it was, on a plate for him. He may be dead but he was still a seventeen year old boy after all.
Richard stood up, not taking his eyes from her as he moved closer. Maybe he could offer some comfort to her tonight. He reached her bed and stood over her silently, watching her rib cage move up and down slowly as she breathed. She had lost so much weight recently, Richard could see her hip bones jutting out, stretching the skin above them. Her waist was tiny and her shoulders and throat were hollow looking in the darkness.
Richard perched on the edge of her bed and touched her face lightly, stroking her cheek. Sophie murmured and twitched but sleep was taking over, lulling her away from him.
He allowed his hand to trail down her neck and across her throat. He let his eyes rest on her breasts as he dragged a finger down her body, dipping into her belly button and stopping just below. Sophie's body convulsed into goose bumps but she was too far gone into sleep to be fully aware of what was happening.
Richard wanted to touch her more but he was unsure, unsure of the morals as it was basically taking advantage of her and also because he hadn't actually ventured this far with a girl before. He gazed wonderingly at her, deciding she was beautiful everywhere.
Richard went to reach over and lay his hand just above her pubic bone, so he could start somewhere but just as his hand was about to rest, a small cry fluttered from Sophie's lips and she goose bumped all over again.
Richard swallowed hard and shifted himself so he could lay down next to her. He lay on his side, propped up on an elbow and watched Sophie intently. He touched her hair with the hand of the arm he was leaning on while his other hand settled carefully on her breast. Richard bit his lip and continued to watch Sophie, her eyes creased slightly when he touched her. He made a quick glance to where his hand was and smiled. He had done it, finally.
He stroked Sophie tenderly and carefully, wishing he could feel just how soft her skin really was. He had a watered down idea, it wasn't as if he could feel nothing. Richard let his hand drag down the rest of Sophie's body for take two. He paused in the exact same place as last time and looked at Sophie nervously. He wanted to touch her there but it just felt wrong with her unaware and mildly unconscious. He stroked down her thighs instead, inching closer with every sweep of his fingers. She was just so beautiful…Richard hadn't realised just how beautiful it would be.
As Richard wasn't really concentrating and was just dumbly stroking her thigh, his hand slipped and he had his first proper touch of a woman. He felt a mixture of ecstasy and repulsion in one split second.
"Richard?" Sophie whispered shrilly. He had woken her with that, he guessed he was still very, very cold.
Richard froze and looked at her, Sophie was looking directly at him, fear, disbelief but happiness on her face. She screwed up her eyes tightly and opened them again, trying to blink Richard out of focus.
"Richard…" Sophie breathed. Whatever she was seeing hadn't gone and it looked very much like Richard.
"Hi Sophie," Richard said but she shook her head. "Sophie, it's me."
Their faces were only inches apart and never had Richard wanted to kiss her this badly. He urged her to believe in herself, to believe in him, that he was still here for her. Sophie reached toward him with one hand, to touch his face. Richard closed his eyes wistfully and felt the feathery touch of her, warm on his cheek.
Sophie wasn't convinced and she shook her head, blaming her lethargy. She flopped back down on her pillow, huffed sadly and bit back tears. She willed them to go away but just now, it had felt so real. Sophie wished so hard that when she reached out, Richard would really be there. But it was her own stupid imagination and now the tears streamed down the sides of her face as she stared up at the ceiling, cold and sad.
Richard was now sitting on the edge of her bed again, turned away from her with his head in his hands. It was too much; this had all been just too much like the old days, when he wasn't dead.