The music was loud and steady, a primal beat, just like he liked it. The guy dancing in front of him, or more correctly, on top of him was tall, slim, scantily clothed and sexy. Also just the way he liked it. The alcohol he had drunk earlier was just barely giving him the tinniest buzz, and he certainly liked that. People dancing and at the bar were watching him and his partner in awe. Whispers about how exciting and hot they were, and the occasional question if he was a female. The female thing he could do without, but the attention he liked.

And yet... Something wasn't right. Mouthing an excuse to his partner, Jullien turned and left the dance floor, joining his best friend Judy at their booth in the back.

"Ew, here," she said when he sat down and handed him a few napkins and her make up compact. "You're all sweaty and your eyeliner is starting to run. The eyeliner thing's a nice effect though..."

Wiping his face and neck, Jullien groaned then dropped his head on his folded arms. He felt his long wavy hair fall around him, sheltering him. It felt nice. Something cold hit his arm and he looked up. Vision marred by wavy strands of honey blonde, he saw Judy holding a Pepsi can to his forearm and grinning. "Wore yourself out," she asked.

Shaking his head a little, Jullien sat up straight up and replied, "No, not really... Just don't feel like it tonight."

Judy gasped loudly. Anyone that didn't know the pair well would have thought she was being sarcastic. She wasn't. "Are you sick? Something happen at your job?" Another, quicker, gasp. "Your article didn't get canceled did, it?"

Jullien rolled his eyes. Always the mother hen. "No, no, and no. Didn't your Grammy ever tell you not to say bad stuff because it'll come true?" He'd been writing an article for a Gay Lifestyles magazine for a few months now. It wasn't much but it helped pay the bills. The last thing he needed was something to happen with it.

"Hey, I'm not the King that suddenly doesn't want to rule anymore. What's wrong, then? I've never seen you walk away from the spotlight."

"You make me sound horrible..." Jullien placed his hand on the back of his neck, dropped his head back, moaning softy as he stretched the muscles there. When he stopped, Judy's gaze was still steadily fixed on him. "You're not going to drop this are you?"

"Do I ever? Spill it, Jules."

"Don't call me Jules."

"I'll call you Snot Face if I want, just spill it."

Jullien gave up. She was relentless. Besides being the biggest fag hag in town, Jullien was her... crush? Maybe that wasn't the right word... Obsession would be closer. She knew he was gay and knew he'd never think of her as anything but a best friend. That, of course, never stopped her. Popping the tab on his drink, Jullien took a few quick swallows before answering her. "Have you ever had this feeling like... Well, like something was missing?"

"You mean like you forgot deodorant?"

Jullien smirked and shook his head. "No, you dork. Something bigger."

"Like what?"

"Hell if I know."

Judy paused. Her eyes dropped to the table, back to Jullien, to the can in his hand, then back to him again. She was debating something.

Jullien sighed, his green eyes rolling in annoyance. "Judy, a relationship is not it. And especially not with you. I love you but you're my fr-"

"I know, I know. That's not what I was thinking...." She got quiet again. Jullien made a gesture for her to continue. "Well... maybe it's your parents, Jules."

Jullien's lips formed a straight line and he sat up a little straighter. His voice had an unmistakable warning tone when he spoke. "Judy.... Don't go there and I mean it."

"No, just listen. Please?" When he didn't say anything, she kept going, talking fast. She knew that when it came to the subject of his parents, or anything having to do with his past, Jullien would only stand for so much before he'd cut off the topic completely. "Well, you've been hanging out at my place lately and with my Mom especially. Maybe being around her and seeing how we are together, maybe its making you wish you had a family and all."

"This topic is closed."


"Nope, I don't wanna hear anymore. Go ask Kitsune for a dance. She's not tending bar tonight and she's sitting alone over by the DDR machines." Jullien got up quickly, leaving behind his soda. Making his way to the bar, he wedged between two younger guys, giving them each a sugary smile before ordering a heavy drink. The one on his left offered to pick up the tab.

Twenty minutes and innumerable drinks later, Jullien and... Brandon? Brad? Bret? Br-something found themselves in the bathroom. Jullien was sitting on the counter, his legs wrapped around Br-something's waist and Br-something's lips attached to his neck. Jullien's hair was in a puddle of something... he could only hope it was water or extra soap from the dispenser. Pushing Br-something away from his neck, Jullien gave him an unmistakable look. Br-something understood and began working on unbuttoning Jullien's clothes. His hand has just slipped down into Jullien's pants when the door opened and very unhappy female entered. A small purse flew across the room, connecting with Br-something's shoulder, followed by the shrill shouting of the female.


Ah, it was Brendon.

"What the hell is going on?! What are you doing with this faggot?"

Jullien's eyebrows furrowed. His brain was muddled and his head didn't work fast enough. Had she just insulted him? Or was she talking to Brendon? Jullien shook his head. He had to piss.

"Baby, listen... I - he... He came on to me, honey."

Jullien snorted. Brendon sucked at lying. "Ya been bushted, hon," he slurred and immediately decided not to talk anymore. And he probably shouldn't drink anymore either. Slipping off the counter, he made his way into one of the stalls and relived himself.

When he exited the stall, a sharp pain met him on his cheek and the female from before shouting insults in his ear. Great, now his head hurt.

There was a pink blob by the door and Jullien sighed in relief. Took Judy long enough to get here. The two argued for a few minutes, then Brendon took his girlfriend's arm and escorted her out. Judy knelt beside Jullien. He hadn't even noticed he'd fallen to the floor.

"Come on," she said, throwing his arm over her shoulders and standing them up. "I think its time for us to go home."

"Mmm." Jullien allowed himself to be lead out of the club and sat down in the passenger side of his car. Judy fumbled in his pockets for his keys, and was sitting behind the wheel a few seconds later.

She sighed long and loud. She was sitting still as a statue and staring ahead. Jullien immediately felt bad. He knew how much it bothered Judy when he got really drunk. "Judy, I'm shorry. I-"

She held her hand up, silencing him. "Don't. It wasn't all your fault. A lot of it was, but not all. You shouldn't have gotten so drunk. You know Brendon has a girlfriend."

"I couldn't remember who he was..." Jullien's head spun and he winced.

"Well, too late now. His girl's calling him a fag and broke up with him. Guess he should have told her he was bi first..."

Jullien didn't say anything. Judy was rambling and avoiding something. As long as he sat there quietly, she'd eventually get to it.

There was silence for a moment and then she turned to look at him. Here it came. "Jullien, what's up with you? You never act like this. Getting slobbery drunk... fucking in the bathroom... picking up a random guy..." She shook her head. "That's nothing like the Jullien I know. You're too good for all that stuff. And not just because you have a bit of an ego... because you really are. You know better. Are you depressed? Bored? What?"

Jullien opened his mouth to tell her to drop it, and noticed the tears in her eyes. His head dropped in shame and his throat tightened. He wouldn't be able to talk even if he wanted to. If she kept looking at him like that, he would cry too. He looked out the window instead.

Judy sighed again and dropped her head on the steering wheel. When she spoke, her voice was soft and emotionless. "Why do I bother? You won't even fuck me." The next thing Jullien heard was the car starting up.

Looking out the window made him feel sick, so Jullien rested his head back on the seat and closed his eyes as they drove. Neither of them spoke all the way to Jullien's apartment. The car stopped and they both got out.

Judy spoke without even looking at him. "I don't have the money for a cab, so I'm taking your car home."

Jullien couldn't tell from her voice if she had been crying and he didn't look to see. Feeling like the lowest thing on earth, he nodded. He made his way carefully into the building, then stopped and peeked out the lobby window. He could see Judy getting back into his car and drive off. He watched her until he couldn't see the car anymore. He always watched her out the window when events like this happened. She never knew and he didn't plan on telling her. God forbid she think he was getting lovey on her.

Jullien made himself a cup of instant coffee and sat on the couch, sipping at it. He quickly found himself curled up on the couch and wrapped in a blanket, drifting off to sleep.