chocolate fingerprints decorate

chalky knuckles, stark beside

ruby red ink stains

supposed to be letters.

meaningless reminders that

the bitter chill of cold tap water

on chapped skin will erase in


heavy head sinking exhaustion

and anxiety cut into my ribs

with needle like precision, and

edge. gleaming cold in

hospital waiting room filtered light

smiling, smiling oh I cannot keep the

malicious grin off of my


slipped I knocked over another

glass, shattered like that broken mirror

I decided to throw at the floor

in anger frustration and the isolation

I felt. collected the shards and

shrinking back from that coiled

smudged monster shining back

as a reflection, no that cannot be me.

is this a disorder? Diagnose me.

there must be a write up in some

heavy volume of psychology. diseases

of the mind, there must be one reading

"distorted self image"

but yes, yes there's the crash of uneven

serrated glass against my wall

did I throw that? Oh no, not me

not the good girl I am.

but where

did this trail of scarlet

between pale fingers

come from?