chocolate fingerprints decorate
chalky knuckles, stark beside
ruby red ink stains
supposed to be letters.
meaningless reminders that
the bitter chill of cold tap water
on chapped skin will erase in
heavy head sinking exhaustion
and anxiety cut into my ribs
with needle like precision, and
edge. gleaming cold in
hospital waiting room filtered light
smiling, smiling oh I cannot keep the
malicious grin off of my
slipped I knocked over another
glass, shattered like that broken mirror
I decided to throw at the floor
in anger frustration and the isolation
I felt. collected the shards and
shrinking back from that coiled
smudged monster shining back
as a reflection, no that cannot be me.
is this a disorder? Diagnose me.
there must be a write up in some
heavy volume of psychology. diseases
of the mind, there must be one reading
"distorted self image"
but yes, yes there's the crash of uneven
serrated glass against my wall
did I throw that? Oh no, not me
not the good girl I am.
did this trail of scarlet
between pale fingers