"Kindergarten Doublespeak"

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I'm hot in some spots,

Cool in the other,

And I wish you'd understand,

I'm in love with your brother,

'Cause I really love the way he walks that walk.

You're hot in most spots,

Cool in the other,

And I wish I'd understand,

How I lust for your brother,

'Cause I really love the way he talks the talk.

But it seems to me,

Unfortunately,

That the clarity of this memory,

Has fallen behind circumstance.

And it seems to me,

Fortunately,

That the memory of his clarity,

Has quickly become the brand new black.

I'm hot in some spots,

Cool in the other,

And I wish you'd understand,

I'm in love with your mother,

'Cause I really love the way she did her thing.

You're hot in most spots,

Cool in the other,

And I wish I'd understand,

How I lust for your mother,

'Cause I really loved the kind of cards she'd bring...

To the table,

Oh, but I'm unable,

To really cherish these feelings for your kind.

And I wish,

That you would kiss me,

The way you did when you rang fresh in my mind.

But there comes a time,

In every boy's life,

When he comes to realize,

He will never have a wife,

Because he would much rather,

See your friend.

And there comes a time,

In a young man's life,

When he'll realize,

He will never have a beautiful wife,

Because he would much rather,

See the other end.