If you wanted to know
How it all would end
You could have asked me
You could have asked me my opinion
I could only have said
What I thought
And I try not to think too much.

It was a cold night sometime last year
Or it may have been hot
In any case it was raining
And I was walking through the town
In my leather coat
With my headphones in
And it was nine o' clock
Or something like that:
I don't know
How to describe
The way it makes you feel
To walk between two gangs
Of violent teenagers
And not to have them notice
Because they're busy threatening to kill one another

I don't remember
If you were there
At any stage that day
But I remember
It was an Odyssey
Of sorts: I walked through town for several hours
Or maybe longer
It could have been days:
The hours turn into days
Before you know it, round here
And as I walked
I saw your face
Before me,
Like a candle,
Like Shakespeare's sister
I don't suppose you understand
What I'm trying to say
So I'll say it in words
I suppose you'll understand.

I had a book in one pocket
And my music in the other
And somewhere on my person
Was paper and a pencil
I sat for hours writing
And didn't realise it was raining
So I carried on walking
Not getting any dryer
And not getting any better
At making a point

I watched the faces fly by
Of people I pitied
People I hated
Pretty people
Ugly people
Sad people
Hopeful people
I did not know
How to look at them
Without a shade of your face
Coming to mind
The rain
Felt so much like your tears
That I thought that I would cry

You were never expendable
But I knew you saw me
As nothing much
From that very last phonecall
"You know how it is,
You've got to be ruthless
And we never see each other
Anymore"
Not that we ever did
Although God knows I staggered to you
Every time
And embraced
With the last of my strength
The strength you gave me

I have no time for metaphors these days
Because you're gone
And I do not know where
But somehow I can understand
So much more
Now that I feel
So distant

Someone told me
Not so long ago
That you were dying.