Utopia

"L" bit my lip

and I welcomed the silence;

it is a rarity

to find someone so free-

a body

filled

of bones

causing utopia within my heart.

I'm proud within this blue

deeper

still

I wanted to see you.

"L"

whispers

and I realize that I'm blowing it;

the song

over the radio

zinging in my ear.

Tell me now

can you taste the salt on your lips.

I bite down

harsh

and "L"

remains

silent.

I wanted him to come to me

cross the table

and grab me,

mingle me

somewhere between this world and the next.

Lighten the mood

and take me far away

into his utopia.

Years

became

hours

and I could feel wisdom seep into me like honey

and wine

traveling love-lorn down my throat.

These moments

tighten inside the blue

and I can taste blood in my mouth.

He's stronger then I knew

beautiful

with a cigarette curled between his fingers;

he hates it,

he even went to a hypnotist.

I brush it off

I could be that cigarette

or the silky smoke flowing between his lungs.

"L" bit my lip

and all I wanted was noise

to hear his voice again;

I kept my fingers crossed for days.

"L;"

he said he knew what I did;

what I wanted

inside his utopia

but I assured him that he didn't.

The scar above his lips twinkles

persistent

beyond my eyes.

I'm star struck

by his presence

but I realize that its fading fast.

"L"

claws at me

with pearly teeth;

a harsh kiss

to keep me on my toes.

I tell him that I adore him

and that

I want to walk with him into his world,

that I want to exhale the peace that he gives me.

He just laughs

your so beautiful you know; he tells me.

His words prick me

but I remain intact.

My heart

and my lips crack.

"L"

as he says it

has come over me

but I feel nothing;

I see nothing but him.

Your so young; he presses

and me

what would you do with me?

I'd sleep beside his utopia,

I'd lie-down outside his doorstep

sing him lullabies

in the rain to help him sleep.

He doesn't deny

that my voice is perfect

at night

when he is alone with me

but I feel my lip quivering.

He speaks simply

silently

indeed I hear him

when he does not realize it.

His face is like silver

sliding from metal

and me

a child

meant to wear it proudly.

"L" bit my lip

and I found myself alone with the silence;

the noise

now gone,

the radio

silenced

like my heart

no longer zinging

but burning.

I clutch his hand

a simple touch of utopia

flickering

just out of reach.

You know I love you; I mimic him

my voice turning to red

desire

filled

as my name;

he doesn't speak it

but rather

refers to "L"

and its influences on me.

I bite my lip

stranded

without his utopia.