Chapter 4 "Only Memories"

A/N: Hey guys, thatnks so much for the reviews. Sadly, this is the last chapter. I really enjoyed writing this one. the ending is sad, but if I get bugged enough I might get motivated to add on, or make another story like this. hmmm lol, enjoy guys.

All I remember was the room was spinning, and everything was blurry. I remember laughing, but only because I heard them laughing. The boys were laughing. I was on my back on the floor. There was weight on top of me. There was thrusting…and pain and pleasure were as one sensation every time I felt my body scoot up and down the carpet. I suddenly stopped laughing.

I woke up the next morning with the worst headache and on my bed soaking up the Saturday sun through the window. I woke up and rubbed my eyes. "What…happened?" I asked myself quietly. I stumbled into the bathroom to rinse my face with cold water, and my legs felt like noodles. I had this soar feeling between my legs, like it was bruised inside. The headache was interfering with my thinking, so I got a rubber band and began to put my hair up in a ponytail. Then I saw it in the mirror, marks all over my neck. They looked like hickies. I dropped the rubber band and sat on the toilet seat trying to make all of this make sense. I could only think of one thing that could've happened that night. I shook my head and held my shaking body, "No…"I whispered as the tears began to leak down my cheeks, "No…no…no!"

I stumbled out of the bathroom, and headed out of the front door. I ran as fast as I could, ignoring the pain in my legs. I hurried over to Phillip's house and knocked on his door. I heard footsteps, and then silence. It was like he knew I was standing outside of his door. "Phil!" I shouted at the door, "Is that you?" my voice became weak. Again, more silence. I began to cry. I wiped my wet eyes with my sweatshirt that had been replaced on me by them after they had had their fun with me. "Phil…"I whimpered, "Why?"

Phil slowly opened the door and peaked outside to look me in the eyes. I shouted at him, "Why?!" I hit the door so it hit his head. All he did was look at the concrete steps leading to his doorway. He sighed and scratched his head, "I'm sorry what they did to you."

This comment made me pause. "What do you mean you're sorry they did this to me? You were in on it!"

Phil closed his eyes in guilt and opened the door to step outside and face me. He had a huge bruise on the side of his face. I froze as he quietly spoke, "I was in on it. But I didn't do anything to you…I couldn't."

"Bullshit Phillip, you expect me to believe that?!"

"No…I wouldn't blame you for not believing me…but I am telling the truth."

I tried to hold the tears back so badly. He sat down on the steps and cradled his head in his hands, "Let me tell you from what I remember."

I wiped my eyes and crossed my arms, "Whatever Phil, go and tell me what happened."

Phil sighed and kicked a pebble with his shoe. He began to explain, "You were raped last night, I'm not going to beat around the bush. My friends raped you last night."

I hung my head down and my shoulders twitched. Tears left my eyes and hit his concrete steps. He continued, "Last night, my friend wanted to get you drunk so we could get some fun with you. I agreed to it, so we put alcohol in the soda. You got drunk and my friends were laughing at your silly behavior…well, pretty soon, they started to put you on the floor…"

I imagined the memory when I was laughing on the carpet. Phil kept going, "Then he took off your pants…" Phil rubbed his face in his hands as if he was ashamed to say this, "They started to ravage you. They weren't even gentle to you. They just stuck it in and out of you. You were drunk, and you were relaxed, so you couldn't fight back…He knew this cuz he had done it to other girls before, but this was the first time I was actually there with him." Phil chuckled a little then cleared his throat and looked confused, "You were laughing, and so were we…but then you stopped laughing…and I stopped laughing while they kept laughing…then you started screaming."

I looked up at Phillip. I tried so hard not to believe him, but it really did sound like he was telling me the truth. Phil shook his head, "Don't get me wrong, I was in the mood for some action that night, especially to a hottie like you."

I looked away. It wasn't a compliment anymore.

He paused, "But…"

I listened.

"…But…"he frowned, "When you started screaming…I…I couldn't do it…They kept laughing, but I felt terrible. It was like it finally hit me what we were doing to you."

I felt my eyes heat up. I slowly stepped towards him and sat down next to him. He explained more to the story, "I snapped…seriously, I waited about four minutes just listening to you scream, and I couldn't take it anymore. I shouted at them to get off of you. They kept abusing you, and so I shouted at them again and grabbed them, trying to pull them off of you. That's when one of my friends punched me in the face."

I looked back at Phil's face. That explained the bruise on his cheek. I stared at my shoes and continued to listen to him, "I threatened to call the cops if they didn't leave, so they finally did leave…you were crying on the floor…rolled up in a ball. You looked so scared, like you had no clue what was going on." Phil looked over to me, "I carried you back home, and snuck you in your window and laid you on your bed…I honestly wished you wouldn't remember anything…I'm so sorry."

I said nothing. All I did was scoot closer to him, hug him, and bawl in his shoulder. Phil sighed deeply and wrapped his arm around me. Everything was silent, and whispered in my ear with a quiver in his voice,"I'm sorry…"