That has got to be the strongest description of how I look at the world and my life in it. Life is beautiful in itself, and is enriched by our differences and flaws. Yes, I had come to love the not so pleasant sides of life as well. By realizing our strengths, we love ourselves, and by knowing and accepting our weaknesses we love ourselves truly. So called unity and harmony, I believe, is not a product of complete oneness in thought and objective, but of humble and sincere acceptance of our differences that we may each know how to properly deal with each other, thus disregarding the need for forcing our opinions on others which is always futile and only resorts to hatred and misunderstanding - since we know that we are different from each other, and therefore realize that we cannot be completely one because of those differences. All we could do is resort to one thing that can make us all meet halfway, or maybe just simply respect preferences unlike ours.
I believe that everything is up to us. We are the only ones who could decide what to do with our lives. Other things like pressure, stress, fad, emotions, opinions, society, values, fear, faith - they are just things that influence our decisions. We choose what to like, what to do, what to want, what to believe, with these factors taken into account at certain levels. For example, even if we are afraid, we can choose to still do a certain thing if we really wanted to, but if we choose not to because we decided that that fear has a really strong influence on us, we would not do it. So, to quit or not to quit, in little situations or life itself, is entirely up to us. The society doesn't change us, to want to change or not to want to is entirely within our power. We are the ones who decide what we can or cannot do.
Everything is relative, except for scientific and mathematical facts. There is no standard, and we have the right to reject majority. What is beautiful to others may not be to some. What is difficult for others may be easy for some. What is right for others are wrong for some. Everybody does it or likes it doesn't mean we have to. We have the right to be different from others, if only we had enough courage to be ourselves, whether or not in the eyes of others. Sure, we have innate desire to belong, but our reality, our own unique existence, is more important than that, if to belong only means to spite what we really are or reject who we really are. God gave us this life, and everything must be as He wanted it to be. He created us as us, and we should not dare refuse or reject that, even a bit, even for just a second.
For me, there is a different view of 'right and wrong' for everyone. Everyone believes in what he wants to believe, since we are all raised in different environments and cultures and we grew up in different experiences. This affects of our belief of what is right and wrong, and in some cases disregarding even religion because religion affects different people in different depth. So, whenever something bad happens, the understanding and acceptance of this reality urges me to want to understand people's reasons for their actions before I react on them. Understanding these things would lead us to do what is appropriate for us to do. Though, for us humans, having our own perception of right and wrong, we must know that these reasons doesn't make the results right or justified all the time. What is important is we know and stand by what we believe in, and we are mature enough to live in the real world equipped with those beliefs.
Even maturity has no standard. Others may call acting like adults mature. But this is what mature is to me. Maturity is being able to listen sincerely to others even if we are different from them, even if we do not like them or what they are saying if only to understand them. Maturity is being able to control ourselves and prioritize the things affect our lives and actions. Maturity is knowing the right place and time. And we could all be mature, regardless of age.
Happiness is one thing. Happiness can be found in certain things for others, and other things for some. We must not judge other's perception of happiness based on our own idea of happiness. If other people believe they can be happy if they have wealth, so be it. If looking in the face of reality makes you happy, so be it. We have the right to expect respect. As for me, I am happy with little things. If I have enough, I am happy, and if I am happy, I do not feel the need for more than what I have. Funny, because you may think that it's absurd, that it's impossible that someone would not want money or riches or fame - but nothing is impossible. Taking time to look at the world and its real face made me realize all the possibilities that we can do, our potentials, talents, convictions - it made me realize that with the power of the human mind, nothing is impossible, the possibilities are endless. And a mere slice of these possibilities, the vast diversities, the wonder and beauty of the creation that is man can make me happy. When our perception of happiness is simple, we can easily be happy. And I do know that to be happy is what everyone wants. I am made happy easily, and it makes life more enjoyable for me, and I know that every second of my life is worthwhile. My life is not tomorrow or yesterday, it is today.
Suffering is another thing. Nobody wants to suffer. But for me, once it's there, it is there, and there is nothing I could do but deal with it, rather than to try rejecting and denying it. So, as I said, I love life. And with life comes suffering, so you could say that I embrace these suffering too. Life is beautiful, everything within it is beautiful, and strife and hardships are beautiful too. I may have had a hard time in the past, but I am thankful. I do not regret anything, because what was made me to what I am today. For that I am thankful. Every second past is a part of my life, and I make sure that I pass every single one of them to the fullest so as not to regret anything in the future. And when I have done what I had and can do, I embrace the rest fully, because I know there is nothing I could do but accept it in order to live on. A man does what he can, the rest is destiny.
Everything has its reason for happening, and every happening is a chance to learn about life and ourselves. We should understand that once we get over that situation, we will find out that reason eventually. So, I live on, knowing that my life has a reason, hoping that I would find that in time. I do not waste time rejecting the things happening that I don't like, because that would not be possible. Running away is a waste of precious time. I just do what I have to do, and in doing so, live on in this beautiful life.
February 15th, 2005 -- by fu-fu