Frottage.

"English is the worst," Jason said, throwing his pen down at his textbook.

"I told you to take media art instead," Mitchell said, not bothering to turn away from his computer screen. "I draw crappy pictures on MS Paint and get straight As."

"More like the teacher wants your ass," Jason muttered, flipping his spiral ring notebook to a new page.

"A is for Ass," Mitchell agreed. "Maybe you should be getting As in Linguistics, too. As in Asshole."

"Oh, you should get an F. For Funny." Jason flipped the bird at Mitchell's back.

"You should - oh, never mind, that's just lame." Mitchell saved his work and closed the program. "You done yet? I'm bored."

"Nope," Jason shook his head. "I'm too busy learning about etymology."

"You're studying bugs, like Grissom from CSI?" Mitchell raised his eyebrow. "I thought it was English."

"That's entomology, you dumbass," Jason shook his head. "Etymology is the study of words."

"Right. Like what, Jason-is-a-shithead?" Mitchell made a face.

"More like, Mitchell is a shithead who doesn't know what he's talking about," Jason said. "No, like areola. It's from the word area, meaning a courtyard. Or a space."

"Or a nipple," Mitchell snickered. "What, they give you dirty words? What about penis, is that on there? Testicles?"

"Perineum," Jason said. "From the words around and to dwell. In other words, your scrotum."

"Thanks," Mitchell said, pulling a face again, this time in distaste. "I don't like that word."

"What, scrotum?" Jason shrugged. "It's no worse than cunt."

"You shouldn't be allowed to say that. You have a sister," Mitchell said. "That's just weird."

"What's weird is that you thought of that when I said cunt," Jason said. "Also, the word cunnilingus comes from it, I bet."

"That's not in your book? Wonder why," Mitchell said sarcastically. "Any other sexual acts in there?"

"Frottage," Jason said, frowning down at his book. "What do you suppose a frot is?"

"A what?" Mitchell laughed, ignoring the fact Jason was serious.

"It sounds like a word from William Shakespeare," Jason said, putting the back of his hand to his forehead. "To frot, or not to frot. That is the question."

"Right," Mitchell said.

"Seriously. I bet when they came up with the word, the actors were all like, 'oh my lawd,'" Jason raised his voice an octave. "'I shall frot over here, and frot all the day, frotty frot frot frot.'"

"I'm sure that's how it went down," Mitchell said. "Or maybe it didn't."

"I bet it did," Jason said.

"Honestly I think frot is a term for gay sex," Mitchell said.

Jason nodded. "Exactly. They saw all these weird actors prancing around with their hands all limp and saying frot a lot, and decided hey, that's pretty gay, and now it is really gay."

"Whatever," Mitchell said, turning back to the computer.

"I know I'm right," Jason muttered, examining his book. "Frotty frot frot frot."