Lonely in Hate

I hate them because I am evil.

I hate me because I am good.

I wanted a kindly temperament-

Instead I do right 'cause I should.

Well Kant thinks I'm moral, and that's nice to know,

But bitterness eats me inside.

My spirit is willing;

My flesh rather weak;

My hatred refuses to hide.

When mindfulness slips for a moment

I wake up and find I've been cruel.

I try hard to smother it,

But nothing will cover it

From ethics they taught me at school.

And no one can tell me how not to

Though so keen to tell me 'do not.'

Actions I've managed to stifle

But words seem to speak such a lot

And now I am stressed it comes out more

But I can't really seek sympathy

I hide till my rage is abated

Offended, they then avoid me

I know fury's not so endearing

I know it's much easier for you

To comfort the friendly but tearful

Believe me, though;

I'm hurting too.