Make me wings of gold
Out of the thread of old
Make them red
With the blood you just shed
Make me wings
Let me fly in the winds
Make me wings
Shoot them down until it bleeds
Take me into the light
Keep me up all night
Tell me stories
About all of your glories
Make me wings to fly
I want to become the crimson butterfly
For this pain is too severe.
Until we meet in Death
The cold seeped into my viens like a poison and chills rushed up my spine. I shivered and Vince glanced at me, his orange orbs turning to slits.
"Something up, Sin?" He inquired with a raised eyebrow.
I rubbed my arms trying to get the warmth back into them and I smiled ruefully.
"Your room is really cold, Vince. Why don't you turn up the damn heat?" I asked.
Vince shrugged and took another hit from the bowl.
"Well, I like my room cold. Deal with it, or leave. Either way I'm finishing this."
I sighed with protest and the chronic invaded my senses. My body shivered again and I dropped back, sprawled over his low bed. My cross settled on the dent of my throat and I placed my hands behind my head. My already short tanktop rose up and the dim light from his ceiling fan reflected off my double pierced navel, shining a little light. I closed my eyes and breathed in deep the smell of fierce cologne and chronic. A strange mix that made my senses go wild and a smile formed on my lips.
Vince chuckled and coughed.
"Shut the hell up, you're one to talk, Sin. Besides, who the hell wants to live 'till they're fucking eighty years old?" He croaked.
I released a laugh from deep inside of me and sat up on my elbows. I played with my labret ring with my tongue as I watched him take another hit off of his bowl, his eyes already bloodshot and his hands already shaking from the effects. He glanced over at me and a drowsy smile appeared on his lips. He was an attractive guy, don't get me wrong. Tall and slightly muscular, he needed a tan though. His hair was short and moppy, his eyes orange and cat-like in appearence.He had the best smile, I compared it to Heath Ledger's smile and he'd only protest, saying his smile was horrid.
He wore baggy jeans and a black wifebeater. Around his neck was a silver choker and a cross. Both his ears were gaged at the bottom and pierced at the rooks. He looked the part of a rock band member and stoner, I couldn't tell which he looked like more.
Vince's eyes tried to focus on me and I knew he was looking at my breasts, but I didn't mind. He was still a guy, so I gave him that much freedom.
I tilted my head to the right and my raven black hair came across my eyes.
"I'm fucked up."
Vince laughed and set the bowl on the desk next to him. His room was painted black with lyrics written in white and even his carpet was black. He isn't gothic though, which was surprising to me when we had first met in the sixth grade five years ago. He stood up and stumbled slightly as he walked towards the bed. Dropping down, he landed next to me and laid there silently. His scent rose up to me and I closed my eyes, breathing it in.
"Sin?" He said in a muffled voice.
"I love you baby, you know that, don't you?"
I laid back and folded my arms under my chest.
"Yes, I know."
"Would you miss me if I died?"
My heart clenched slightly and I was silent for a few moments.
"I would miss you. Why are you asking this?" I inquired as I glanced at him.
He turned his head and his face was emotionless.
"I'm fucked up, so I don't know. I've been thinking a lot lately about death. How warm his welcome would be for a person like myself and it seems like an escape. An escape that I really need-"
"Don't fuck with me, Vince. Please...," I interupted as I rolled over onto my side to face him.
"I'm not fucking with you, Sin. I'm serious as hell. You know my parents, the shit they put me through all these years. I don't want to live like this. I don't want to live period. I want to be free like a cloud in the sky. Maybe a bird. I want to be someplace else..."
"Then wait until graduation next year, Vince. You'll be away from them, trust me. Once you graduate, you'll be free. Free as you want to be."
Vince rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. I saw a faint tear in his eye and my heart clenched even more, painfully.
"No I won't Sin. I'll never be free as I want to be. I fucked up my life because of them. I tried so hard to be like my siblings, to excel in school. Goddamnit...my buzz is wearing off. I need a cigarette."
He sat up and I intercepted him, hugging him around the middle with my face buried in his side.
"Damnit Vince. You're not your siblings, you're not your parents. You're Vince, my best friend and other half."
I felt the tears come to my eyes and I blinked them away quickly as he snatched up his pack of reds. He dropped it back on his desk and lighted up his cigarette. He took a small drag and touched the back of my head with his free hand.
"I know, Sin. I just can't stop thinking about suicide. I don't need help, it just seems like a way out that will make them see-"
"See what!? See that their son has resorted to taking his own life? You're better than that!"
The tears streamed down my face and I choked back a sob, trembling against his side. Vince became silent and dropped his arm down. I looked at his wrist and noticed the cuts, deep and semi-fresh. I pushed away from Vince and backed up against the wall, pulling my knees up to my chest. I buried my face into my knees and cried.
"How can you do that!? How can you mutilate yourself? You know how much I care, you know how much you mean to me and you go and do that shit? Why the hell didn't you talk to me?"
Vince ashed his cigarette and grabbed my arms, pulling me towards him. I resisted, but finally gave in and the contact of his chest to my forehead made me feel that he was still here. Still the old Vince that I used to know. The one that always smiled and always had a joke. Now I saw him in a different light. As a hurt and crying boy who endured so much through his life that it sunk in deep like a knife.
He pulled me close to held me tight against him, his heartbeat pounding against my arm.
"Sin....I know how much you care."
"I want to escape....trust me. It'd be better for you and me..."
I closed my eyes tight and shook my head.
"You'd leave me alone....I'd have no one..."
Vince sighed and I looked up at him. His lips came over mine and he held me even tighter, like a security blanket. I kissed him back and ran my fingers through his moppy hair. Tears still poured from my eyes and he pulled me down with him as he laid down. We laid in his bed for what seemed an eternity and I didn't realize I had drifted off to sleep.
I opened my eyes and blinked for a few moments. I brought my hand up to my face and touched my forehead, feeling a gooey substance on my hand as it touched my forehead. I brought it away from my face and my stomach came to my throat as I realized there was blood on my hand. I looked down at the sheets and blood was around me.
"Vince," I whispered.
I was scared to look to my right where I knew where his motionless body was, but I had to look over and when I did my heart shattered to pieces. He laid there on his back and his face was pale. The gash in his throat was deep and already crusting with dry blood. His larenx was slit and his eyes were closed, a peaceful look on his pale face. His hands were at his sides and in his right hand was a blade, small but sharp. Blood was still on the blade.
I screamed in sorrow and horror.
The ambulance drove away as I stood outside his home with his parents and a crowd of curious spectators. His mother grieved and his father held her tight as tears ran down his own cheeks. I hugged myself and my tears wouldn't come, I had cried enough. My legs shook slightly and a police officer walked over to me.
"Miss, can I ask you a few questions?" He asked with a soft voice.
"Yes," I replied and looked at him.
"Did Vince act strange, anything peculiar and out of the ordinary before this?"
"Was this some sort of S&M incident that went wrong? Or did he kill himself? Did you observe this happening or were you asleep?"
I frowned at him.
"I don't know why he did it sir, I'm as clueless as you are."
The officer nodded and made the obvious 'uh huh' remark. He looked me over and motioned at my shirt.
"You should go home, take a shower and clean your clothes. I'm sorry for the loss of your boyfriend."
"He wasn't my boyfriend, officer. He was my best friend."
"Oh, alright then. Well, all the same, I'm sorry for the loss. Kids these days-"
"Vince wasn't like other kids, he was better. I don't need your pity, sir."
I turned on my heel and walked down the sidewalk towards home. My parents were out of town and I looked at the two story building, the sinking feeling of being alone made me shiver. I walked up the stoney path to the front door and shifted through my jeans pocket for my key. I retrieved it and unlocked the door. I stepped through and turned, shutting the door quietly as if I was going to wake someone upstairs and placed the key next to the door. I turned around and sighed.
"I'm back...," I muttered and dropped to my knees.
"He's dead?" A deep voice inquired.
I nodded as a few stray tears slid down my cheeks and a gentle touch wiped them from my cheeks. I looked up at the ghastly figure of Curtis, a vampire and friend who I have known ever since I was five. He stood in front of me, his clothes were tattered and old fashion. A frilled shirt a fencer would wear covered his broad, muscular chest and his pants were tight on his thighs but widened near the bottom to become boot cut. His boots were buckled and looked just like a shoe made out of that. His hair was silverish grey and his eyes were azure blue. His flesh was milky white and both his ears were pierced at the lobe with lobehugging rings of gold. He stood with his arms folded over his chest and watched my every movement with his intense gaze.
Curtis squatted down in front of me and tilted his head, a few strands of his straight hair came over his eyes.
"I told you, love. He was a troubled young man, yet love does have a way of making people blind. You should have stayed awake and you shouldn't have let him have any drugs."
"Shut up, Curtis."
Curtis sighed and stood up, placing his hands behind his head.
"Sin....please....don't kill yourself over this incident. People die, you know that, even by suicide. His destiny must have been that and it was set. You couldn't have really done anything."
I stood up and rubbed my arms.
"I could have done something. I know I could have, Curtis. I could have stopped this...."
I stepped forward and brushed past Curtis, heading up the stairs with my hands buried in my pockets. Coming to a stop at my door when I made it to the top, I glanced back to see he wasn't there and I released a sigh. I opened the door and entered my cold, dark room.
"Sin, I'll try to make you happy," Curtis said from the window.
I closed the door and pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it into my basket. I looked at my reflection and shook my head, dropping my jeans to my ankles. Curtis shook his own head and closed his eyes.
"Don't kill yourself because of him. I don't know what I could do without you here. You're the only one sane enough to speak with me and not fear me, Sin."
I stared at myself, standing in the middle of my room in my undergarments. I reached up and touched my face where my mascara had run, I looked the part of a battered wife or a sorrow filled painting. Curtis walked over to me and stood behind me.
"I could have helped him, Curtis. I truly could have," I whispered and let my hands fall to my sides.
Curtis's fingers traced up my spine and I tilted my head to the right. His breath was warm over my throat and his hands found mine. I intertwined our fingers and I stared straight ahead at my reflection, which only showed me as if my hands were half cupped. His fangs sank into my flesh and I closed my eyes, wincing slightly at the bite. Curtis unlaced his fingers from mine and slid his hands up my torso, his right hand cupped around my left breast and his left hand stayed on my stomach. His right hand groped as he bit harder and I gasped silently as I felt myself becoming weaker with each drink he took. I stared at my reflection and saw the indents of his fingers on my chest, the red blood running down from the bite on my neck.
I opened my eyes and realized I was laying in my bed, sprawled out over my black sheets. I glanced at my floor and saw my bra. I sighed and closed my eyes as I sat up, my right hand supporting my weight. Opening my eyes, I saw Curtis standing in the middle of my room with my bra spinning around his index finger. His eyes were staring up towards the ceiling fan which was turned on low and I closed my eyes again, my head was pounding.
"I took more than I should have, you've been asleep for a day," Curtis said.
His voice yanked my eyes open like fingers and I nodded drowsily.
"That's alright, I guess I needed the sleep," I murmered.
"Your parents...they're coming home soon, right?"
"Yeah, two weeks. Month before school starts. How I'll welcome them...I don't know. Mixed feelings I guess. I don't think the death of Vince will be a shock to them, they never did like him because of how he acted and the way he dressed."
"The screaming will come back, won't it?"
I looked at him and a small smile made its' way across my lips.
"Yeah. Are you getting sick of it the way my mother screams at me?" I inquired with a raised eyebrow.
Curtis dropped my bra into a basket and shook his head with a grin.
"The screaming keeps me alive, you know? Makes my ears ring and I almost feel I'm in a serene Hell. Peace. That's what its' like. Though I can tell you're getting sick of it, Sin. I can feel the hurt in your heart when your mother yells at you. How you want your dad to step in and make her drunken rage stop bleeding out on you."
"You're wrong, Curtis. I've grown immune to it over the past years."
I sat up and slid my legs under me. I rested my hands on my thighs and breathed in deeply.
"I haven't resorted to anything drastic to drown anything out...yet...."
Curtis chuckled and walked over to my bed where he plopped down next to me. I looked at him and tilted my head. His eyes washed over me and he leaned over slightly as I did, our lips meeting in the middle.
I closed my eyes and fell into an epiphany of darkness, a solitude of silence and peace. His body came over mine and he laid on top of me, his hands gripping mine. He kissed my jaw and then my neck where he had bitten me, the marks had already vanished. Curtis trailed his fingers down my arms and sides, causing me to wretch with a smile because it tickled. He smirked and traced his index finger around my navel, playing with the ring momentarily.
"Why did you get this?" He asked with a low tone.
"I don't remember. I got it when I was 15. I think I got caught up in the belly button ring hype and wanted to be cool like all the other girls," I replied.
Curtis looked into my eyes.
"You're not like other girls, Sin."
"Yeah, for one thing I have a vampire for a friend."
"Friend...heh. No, not because of that. You have a gift, something that could possibly get you places you never thought you could go."
"Yeah right. I'm just an abnormal girl with abnormal traits. An outcast in society."
Curtis frowned and slid his hand down. I bit my lip and his face was still a slab of emotionless stone. I closed my eyes and fell into another epiphany, a happy one. Curtis bit my neck as I felt him insert himself inside of me, causing my legs to tense and muscles to tighten. His body moved against mine and I ran my fingers through his hair. Just as the feeling had been there, it was gone and he sat at the side of my bed. I opened my eyes and looked at him before I closed my eyes, falling asleep to peaceful dreams.
He said something before I fell asleep and I could slightly tell what he had said, but sleep muffled it.
"Estoy enamorado de ti....."
To be continued....
if you know spanish, you know what he said. Curtis is so cute But Vince... -( Well...this took me over a week to write...hopefully it's good....I'm recovering from being off prozac, so my creativity is messed up only slightly... :-. Well, please review.