Okay, there is a reason for all this. Long story short, I visited this writing related site a while back, which offered a "writing aptitude" test of sorts. One portion of the test was to write up a short "How To" explaining the finer points of something or other that you're fairly knowledgeable about. As I am totally and utterly unable to be serious most of the time, this is what I came up with. Anyhoo, I hope you all enjoy. Drop me a review.
How to write fanfiction that is guaranteed to get reviews:
Fanfiction is, of course, the oftentimes shameless use of characters and locations from another person's work--a movie, book, video game, television show, etc. So long as your work is accompanied by a disclaimer clearly stating that you, the author, don't own the characters or situations you are writing about, are merely writing this work for entertainment, and will in no way be compensated for your efforts, the sky is the limit.
Sure, everybody can write fanfiction. But not everybody can write fanfiction as it is meant to be written. Not everybody can gain recognition for their fanfiction, regardless of talent and originality. Until now.
Sick of spending hours and hours perfecting your work only to find that after a week, only two people have even read it? Does the lack of recognition keep you up at night?
The most common mistake a fanfiction writer can make is to assume that talent will speak for itself. A strong plot, good character development, sharp dialogue--that may be enough in the real world, but not in the twisted, cut-throat universe of fanfiction.
But don't get discouraged. I have devised a simple 10-step program to help aspiring fanfic writers just like you gain the respect and praise you deserve.
1. Add a new character to the mix. Make him or her exactly like you, only without any sort of flaws or imperfections. This character, known as a "Mary-Sue" in fanfic lingo, will get the guy/girl, save the world, basically just be the ultimate hero.
2. Make every male character homosexual, whether or not they've ever shown interest in other men.
3. Turn all the female characters, especially those with ties to the newly gay male characters, into lesbians or villains to compensate. Or just kill them off.
4. Be innovative. Instead of setting your story in present-day America, as it was in the movie, television show, book, etc. why not set it in the time of King Arthur and make everyone a brave knight or lady? Maybe aliens will invade at some point, and the Gay Knights of the Round Table, led by King Mary-Sue and her dragon, Twinkles, are the world's only hope.
5. Throw in an unexpected pregnancy. Be sure to include a lengthy explanation as to how it is one of your male characters has conceived. Don't forget to add MPREG ("male-pregnancy") to your summary. Those five letters alone guarantee your story will be read.
6. Have a tried-and-true villain turn over a new leaf for no apparent reason. Because, really, what is a villain but a person anxiously waiting in the wings for a fanfiction writer to come along and make them a hero? (This only works with good looking villains.)
7. Personality shmersonality. Make as many of the people in your story as out-of-character as possible. You've already disregarded their sexual preference (see steps 2 and 3), impregnated at least one of them (see step 5), and let's face it, to leave it at that would just be cruel.
8. Speeling adn GRammer isnt impotrant so dont worry aboutit
9. Add some music to set the mood. It's a little difficult to achieve this in writing, but it can be done. Randomly insert irrelevant song lyrics into your story at various points. Nothing adds that much needed spark to a love scene like a few lines from You Light Up My Life.
10. Write a crossover. What's more enjoyable than reading about a group of teenage soldiers, fighting for peace in their giant robots, who suddenly find themselves in the magical world of Harry Potter and CO. at Hogwarts? Not only is this creative, it opens up a variety of options for you as an author. Bringing characters from two different realms together not only shows readers you have a vivid imagination, it also shows them that you are willing to demean and humiliate any character, from any series you are relatively familiar with, for any reason.
Finally, the most important piece of advice I can give you: Know your audience. Know that the average fanfiction reader is a horny teenage girl who wants nothing more than to see her favorite hot fictional male character making out with either another hot fictional male character, or her. She likes an imaginative writer--one who isn't afraid to put her beloved and his beloved into Arthurian times, the distant future, or maybe even outer space, and change everything about them except the way they look. And one of them better be pregnant by the halfway point of the story too.
Follow these simple tips and you'll be amazed by all the buzz surrounding your story. Your inbox will be flooded with reviews, well-wishes, and even death threats from all the people whose lives you've touched with your writing.