I would do anything

2/27/05

Spur of the moment. I don't know how true this is. Maybe none, maybe a lot.

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I would do anything, I think

To keep myself awake at night

And listen to you breathe,

Wonder what you're dreaming of,

Or if you dream at all.

I like to think of you like this,

In all the ways that make me forget:

Maybe now, maybe soon,

I can feel myself again,

Feel like a boat with anchor,

Not adrift in my own wake.

I love to lose myself in you,

Because outside of this,

Every moment,

All I have is nothingness and the nothingness consumes me.

I would bare my heart to you,

I would break my spirit for you,

I would damn my soul for you,

I would end my pain for you,

I cannot survive like this,

But I am too afraid to stop,

I am too afraid of dying,

I am too afraid of living,

I am too desperate,

I am flawed and ugly,

But I am too afraid to quit.