What is up with pancakes? I mean, come ON! I know we have to stick together, but nuclear winter or no, I am so not hanging around with these strange people. Is the only thing they know how to do is eat and just stay alive, living in a small, tortured group, the only people left in America, living in an IHOP? Man, this is totally, friggin stupid.

Mom doesn't help any. But she wouldn't now, would she? She's just the town-group-whatever- drunk. She got pregnant as a teen with, guess who? Me. Wow. Didn't see that one coming. Maybe that's why I call her "Mom." Mom, nicknamed "Plain Jane", later nicknamed "Get out of the way, moron!" though she still sometimes insists that she's really a lady. Yeah, right. Like a lady would get pregnant with some guy she didn't know. When I ask her about my father, she just goes off into one of her little fantasies, dreaming and muttering, before snapping out of it and mumbling something about "the hottie prince in the hallway" and "in the shadows." No way am I asking what that means.

"Hey Nell." I looked up and say one of my friends, Ivy Fortune, walk, no, saunter over. A member of the Fortune family does not simply walk.

"Ivy. What's up? Are they issuing another food ration program? I'm really getting pissed off at this shit they call food."

"Nah, just wanted to get away from Fid. I told him about the squirrel I saw, and he didn't believe me."

"Wow. That's huge. He should be more considerate of your precious feelings." cough

"I know! I was all like, 'A squirrel, Fiddler, a squirrel ran across the field.' He just didn't think I was telling the truth. It was sad really. Anyways, what did you think about that new guy? He said he came from way over in Oregon. I didn't think anyone could walk all that way! I mean, New York is, like, a long ways away! But he's really hot, don't you think, Nell? Nell? JANELLE!?!"

Whoops. I guess I spaced out for a minute there. What was she saying? Something about a squirrel?...

"What? Oh, sorry Ivy. Uh, I gotta go. See ya." I think she just kept right on with the monologue. I wouldn't know. I left.

Ah, here we are now. The official headquarters of the LOA, the Leftovers of America. Supposedly my mom's old high school. Yee haw. The retarded hell I have to live through every day. Why did the White House give an OK to that Nuke plant? Why? I guess we'll never know...

Wow. Weird hallway. those shadows are creepy and shaped like, what, people? Stupid physics. I'll probably never learn anything useful, like why shadows from walls are shaped like people.

Huh, I wonder what that light is? It's like some kind of flashlight. I think I'll have a look...

What? It's getting bigger... Wait, what the hell? What is this? Hey! It's sucking me in! Hey! Help! Somebody...!