The blood rolls down the hairs of my arm, clotting upon my own. I didn't mean to do it, it simply happened. The stench of iron clogging my senses, and the cold floor beneath me; everything is a blur. All I can see is a teary-eyed view of the one I loved, hanging limp, propped up by the counter door. Her hair intertwined within the scarred up blood, not a sound from her quiet lips.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it. Her eyes, I cannot bare to look. Such glass eyes, such sorrow in her rigor mortis. My hands, they are numb, I can't even bare to look down. My eyes are caught upon hers, and my tears subside from my cheeks, mixing with the blood below. I can't stay here. I must do something.
What time is it? Why am I thinking of this? This is a dream, isn't it? I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to fight. I didn't mean to hurt you. I lost myself, and I'm sorry for what I did.
She smells so beautiful, even through the smell of blood. The white sweater I gave her, it pains me to see her wear it. I cannot bear to see anymore. Kill me now, and let me die. I deserve to die, and I don't want to be here any longer. Let it go away, this is all a dream. I'm not here, and she is not there.
My watched just beeped. It has beeped six times since it happened. Oh my god, Rebecca. She has school; I can't let her see this. It's not real, and this is all a dream. I can't do it. I can't move. I'm paralyzed. I'm in shock. My hands, I can't move them. I have to move. Rebecca is almost awake. I'm so sorry Silvia. I didn't mean to do it. The knife, it's in her stomach! I can't move it. Kill me! Just fucking kill me already! I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry! I didn't mean to do it!
I'm going to throw up. I'm hyperventilating. It's clotted over. The knife is clotted over. I… I can't do it!
She's going to be up soon. I have to hurry! Why! Why can't I do this? What if she sees me? Rebecca, please go back to bed for daddy! I'm fucked! I'm fucked! I have to do something! But, where! How? I'm running out of time! I'm sorry Rebeeca! I just wanted what was best for you. Damn you god! Why me! Why the fuck did you have to do this to me! Take it back! Take it back! Please! Just take everything back! Make it how it was! I didn't put her here! She isn't on the floor!
I'm in bed right now. She is by my side, nudging me to get up. I'm right, am I not? This is all just a dream. I know it is! Silvia is going to laugh so much when she hears this. She'll tell me to stop eating so late at night. It's those scary books you read isn't it, she'll say. She'll try and get me to read one of her romance novels. Isn't that right? Isn't that right Silvia?
Silvia? Just say something, anything at all. Please. Honey? Just say something! Please! Just say something already! It's not funny! See, I'm not laughing! These are not freaking tears of joy! Just answer me already, god damn it!
That sound! She's up. Rebecca is up!
She's going to be coming down stairs any moment. I can't let her see my clothes like this. I'm so disoriented. I can't tell what is going on.