Sometimes life seems a dream

A surreal, indifferent existence

Is there a destiny out there for me?

What is going to be my legacy?

Will I leave a wake of pain and corruption?

Shall my name be great to the world?

Or will my greatest feat be the grandchildren I'll leave behind

To laugh and love and remember?

I do not have these answers

I am not God

Yet it is hard to leave it all to Him to reveal in His time

I am not that patient

I have not the faith

I want to know now

What will I do?

See?

Be?

Why can I not have these answers now?

What if I amount to nothing?

Sitting here right now, I feel insignificant

I go to school.

I am a good student

I make my family proud

And my friends love me

I have a good life

But for what?

I could just give up in the great educational race

And live my time here on earth as a bum

Ignorant, ignored, a nothing

Or I could be brilliant

Get a good job, and lots of money

And, materially, be happy

But why bother?

I'll only die

Or I could become a maniac

Kill people

Get arrested and receive the death sentence

And meet the mortal end sooner rather than later

I strive to be something

But life is so brief

What really can an anonymous girl from Michigan accomplish?

Nothing I do will be remembered, most likely

What is the point of this earth's existence even?

If you look scientifically, it was such a slim chance that caused the "Big Bang"

Why did it happen?

Religiously, how did there come to be God?

Why did He make Adam?

Why did Eve have to eat the apple?

What are the millions of people in the world here for?

How many think like me?

What if tons did, and just gave up

And waited for their inevitable death

And this generationwhich is supposed to take the future of our countries on our shoulders

Just threw in the towel

What would happen then?

Would this world of ours fall even further into disarray?

I just wish that I had the answers

I want them so bad

Who can tell me?

No one can, that's who

So I can only hope this melancholy mood ends, and soon…