i have your friendship, you are on the verge of having my heart, though why i do this to myself i will

never know, i guess self torture is my method, in order to feel i must make myself hurt, and to hurt i

must first find reason, you see there is a method to my madness though most do not see it, i want the

things i cannot have because it keeps me from finding the things that i can. so while i waste my time

away on you and your empty words and meaningless banter, i lose myself more into the things you say

then i know i should and then i hurt only that much more when i remind myself that those words

meaning absolutely nothing to you like they do to me. so afraid i am of the things around me that i run

until i find other things to occupy my time, and in doing so i find myself occupying my time with you

and i hate myself more and more for ever taking you so seriously when i knew i shoudnt have, curse

me for all the stupidty i feel whenever i talk to you lately, how ashamed of myself i have become in my

ignorance to your empty words.