Just to Say Hello
Just to Say "Hello"

I tried to greet you,
forced the smile,
but the words stuck in my throat.
I horded the thought too long.
Illusion invaded isolation,
broken binds became whole.
Caged, I cried, but you did not hear
because I could not even breathe.
Too busy hurting
without showing,
reasoning
without understanding,
hoping
what for, I don't know.
So I turned to me, and not providing an answer,
I attacked, released the growing fear
of nothing
on me, giving me reason to cower
before the mirror.
I see you again, open my mouth
and pause to ritualize my cycle of cowardice,
just to say hello.