Joanne and the Sacred White Lily

By Joanne

Okay, intros!!! As many of many mates know there are 4 sides to me that have been discovered – Colette, Joanne Remina and Nameless, and this is just one of the stories that tell of our many crazy adventures……

Joanne: let me talk it's my story Colette.

Colette: sighs Oh ok then.

Joanne: Okay so I'm Joanne and this is MY story as you might have guessed already and it's gonna be the cutest and most fabulous story ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please review for me and tell me how brilliant it is!!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following people: Sarah, Emma, Scary Karen, Chester or Joe Hahn (although I really would like to own him :p). This is copyrighted to Joanne, my alternative personality, and no one else so don't even try and steal it or we'll get the froggies on to you. 

Oh and P.S. don't ever mess with Scary Karen, she's scary.


Chapter 1: A mission

Once upon a time, there was a park and in that park there was a pond, and in this pond there lived a few frogs. These frogs only appeared I the human world during the summer months and then travelled the short journey to their native land.

A smallish frog with extraordinary long legs sat on the edge of the pond. It then remembered that it was still in the human world and dived into the murky water. It Froggy swam down to the rocks on the left hand side of the pond and stuck its head into the gap between the rocks. He wriggled about and managed to pull his body into the portal with a small 'pop'.

The wee frog emerged from the portal in a totally different world. Here the water was a clear turquoise blue that could rival any tropical ocean in the human world. The frog breathed deeply filling his lungs with clean air and exhaled all the poisonous emissions that he had inhaled in the human world. He sighed and then smiled. He was home.

He swam towards the surface in his frog-like way and bobbed his head out of the water. He blinked his black eyes a few times in order to get himself used to the sunlight. He scanned the area around him looking at all of the lily pads that floated along the pond's surface; it was these lilies that gave the realm its name – The Great White Lily Lake Realm. Suddenly the frog saw something in the distance. He narrowed his eyes to make sure it was. It was. The frog then dived down and swam towards it.

It was a young girl who went by the name of Joanne (That's me!! YAY!). She was the legendary Protector of the Froggies and was held in high esteem throughout the realm. Joanne was busy sunbathing on one of the white lilies that littered the pond's surface.

"Joanne!" the frog cried as he hopped onto the lily.

Joanne got up a little and propped herself up on her elbows obviously, her long blonde hair glistening in the sun. She frowned a little, blinking her bright blue eyes a few times trying to focus on the thing in front of her.

"Kermit?" she asked and then cried more enthusiastically, "KERMIT BOBBING JR!!" She gripped him into a tight bear hug, "Froggie!"

Kermit quite nearly had his ribs crushed and was gasping for any kind of air he could get (Animal cruelty against the frogs J? And you call yourself the protector of the Froggies! Tut-tut – Nameless).

"Kermit!" she said letting him go, "Oh, I've missed you! I thought those big nasty humans, or fish or birds had got you and I was, - and I was gonna march right in there and say, you let him go or I'll…"

"Get Sarah to you?" Kermit said with a yawn.

"Yes!" Joanne cried, "But I don't have to now 'cos you're here! You're here! YAY!"

Joanne went into peals of laughter and hugged Kermit once again (but not a tightly as before).

"We have to go see Queen Sarah. King Joe Hahn says there' a little problenm over there and she wants to see you."

"Really?! Oh! I love Queen Sarah. Well, what we waiting for?" she asked excitedly.

While all of this was happening in the Great White Lily Lake realm, two youngish women stood gazing into a crystal ball that depicted the image of Joanne and Kermit. The women looked at one another and gave each other an evil grin. One of the women crackled loudly.

"Now is the time to put our evil plan into action!" she said in a really bad French accent.

"No Scary Karen, we must wait a little longer." said the other

"Remina!" Scary Karen shouted, "I'm tired of waiting! Let's go now!"

"No!" Remina exclaimed, "We need to get Joanne and her slimy froggy sidekick –"

"You mean her tasty froggy sidekick." interrupted Scary Karen.

"HER SLIMY FROGGY SIDEKICK out of there. Create a distraction." Remina smiled at Scary Karen, "Okay, here's how we do this…" and she went on to describe her evil plan.

Remina whispered her plan to Scary Karen. Scary Karen's eyes widened with joy. She jumped up and down excitedly once Remina had finished. Obviously she loved the plan.

Remina sat down at the nearby table and flicked her raven black hair away from her face. Her red eyes gazed down at the red and white checked tablecloth (God, you have bad taste Remina! Why red and white? – Colette, I don't know – Remina). She was amazed at herself for thinking of an absolutely, positively, pure genius plan, but she wasn't too sure if she wanted to put it into action. She didn't care if she hurt Joanne or stupid Kermit Bobbing JR, but she didn't want to hurt the King of the Great White Lily Lake realm – King Joe Hahn. If the plan went ahead then she would be driven further apart from her main dream in her non-existent life – to be Joe Hahn's wife and Queen. He already considered her as an enemy as she was the leader of the Toadstools and preferred toads to the cute little froggies that he liked. Remina was jealous of Joanne. She got to stay beside him, all day everyday. Remina disliked Joanne; she couldn't say she hated Joanne because who could hate such a loveable, sweet, cute person who had a passing resemblance to Remina herself? (That's me!) Remina sighed and wallowed in her self-pity.

Scary Karen walked over to Remina. Scary Karen had another plan up her sleeve. She could see that Remina didn't really want to follow through in her plan so she would have to take over. She swept her red hair out of her eyes and towered over Remina.

"Remina, you know I'm French right? Well in France we have some special cuisine you should try. Why don't we have a French dinner?"

"Yeah, why not?" Remina answered sullenly, "Could be fun."

"It will be fun. I'll cook for you."

Scary Karen looked at Remina and if Remina had been paying attention instead of daydreaming (which she rarely does) then she would have seen the evil grin the Scary Karen had plastered on her face – she was definitely up to something.


Author's Note:

Joanne: Ta-da!! What a brilliant first chapter, don't you think Nameless?

Nameless: pulls a face Yeah, whatever you say J.

Joanne: Great! Well, I just want to say a big thanks to my dear friends Sarah, Emma and Karen for inspiring me with this uber cool idea!

Colette: Even though Sarah and Emma don't actually feature in this chapter :S

Joanne: looks awkward Umm… right! But, they will be in the Chapter soon! I promise they will!

Nameless: And by the way, Scary Karen is S.C.A.R.Y. She is a danger to herself and the public if you see her in your neighbourhood do not approach her…. Instead call the BEEPING MONKEY!! LOL

Remina: Stop hinting at things Nameless!!!

Colette: She does have a cool doll though…

Joanne: ANYWAYS… Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. The second will be up and running soon! Cheery Bubbles. Say "Bubye!" Kermit.

Kermit: Ribbit

Everyone: Bye!!!!