i thought i had healed, that you
would be enough.

and i know i'm a dreamer, but even
i'm not blind
enough to overlook the empty shadows
of your eyes. and i'm not cold
enough to miss the heat that suddenly
your kisses lack.

so this artificial separation, as fake
as the light-up nativity scene in your yard,
as the curls in your hair.. and
as the smile on my face.

(you always said i needed braces.)

keep blaming me for the ashes
of all the lives you wish were yours.
wrap me in guilt
if that's what you want: just take
me, and promise me

you won't stop when i tell you to.

tear open these scars, this heart:
let me bleed before you, nothing
but shorn stitches and suffering.

let someone else close the wound
like you always do.

because if you'd just let me
taste your broken promise lips,
it would all be okay.

so tell me
father,

will you forgive me?