Why so irritated
Why so forlorn
Why
Oh why
So cruel?

I cannot see the guilt
For the confusion
And without my guilt
You suffocate me

Pace-pace-pace
Spasm
And call you again
I don't expect an answer
But it relieves the tension
Or so I choose to believe.

Since when was I rational in a crisis?

Which one of us was it
That started this second landslide?
This schism
And such agonies of conscience
And romance

What is happening here?
So much confusion
So much shame
Your motives are behind a wall of tears
And I do not have the power
To see through it.

Flashback to a summer four years ago, when we lay under the trees and held each other: you wept and I walked, you walked and I wept. Of course we've hurt each other before, that is why it is so hard to fall in love again

Something so hard to explain
Should be harder to act upon
But at the moment you threaten to leave
I feel so much closer to you
And love should not be this awful game
Of veils and guilt
But with you it always was
And always will be,

What more can I say?
I'll call you again
With no expectation of an answer,
Anything to relieve the tension

We rip each other to shreds
Every time we confess
And we cauterise what's left
When we say nothing at all:

Where will it end?

Flashback to a cemetery three and a half years ago, you wept and I held you and we said we'd get married: I was only fourteen and you were two years older, it was a dream we didn't think would come true… the next day I left, and we thought we'd see each other again

This is not artistic
But I am no aesthete
When it comes to you:
This romance is a battlefield
And I wrote a song, "Like Vietnam"
A while back
But now I see I wrote it for you

Indefinitely, and still so hesitantly
I lean in
To look at your picture
But my eyes would rather burn themselves out
Than subject myself to that again
If I cannot be with you
I'll twitch my way to sleep

I'm so sorry
For my imagined sin
If you told me
Then the game would be no fun
(Is it fun to lie awake at night
And tremble and feel guilty
For falling asleep?)

I cannot apologise enough
And I adore you
Erica, come back to me
And I shall live like this
For you