On a world that was magnetised by an erratic pryrodraulic discombobulation strike there were many people, as well as un-people, who weren't really people, sort of half half. These un-people wandered these streets mimicking normal people in their every day lives, and if they sprouted the extra eye who was to blame?
Nobody knew much about the un-people. They had come out of the void which had appeared under Smith and Sons Pencil Sharpeners-Sharpen Your Pencils The Smith and Sons Way.
They were only a few at first but they started to multiply until everybody lost count. Now they were just a normal, everyday thing such as rabid pixies or goblin cross-dressers.
In this magnetic world there were many lands, the most exciting and peculiar of all was Pacmania and that is where we shall begin.
King Pacman sat upon his reading chair as an endless amount of people came streaming into his throne room to beg for his blessing. He stood up and put his book down. "Hello everybody".
"You are hereby blessed. May you lead happy lives and da da d da. Thankyou for coming but I must return to the matters of State you see."
"Very important matters of State"
Still, nobody moved.
"You all know where the door is. Use It!
As they left the room he picked up his book, Myrrens Gift by Fiona Mcintosh. He was enjoying it very much, hence his frustration when a messenger entered the room, red faced and panting.
"My Lord. The Rabid Pixies of the West have invaded!"
Pacman didn't even stop reading.
"Again?" he said
"Err.Yes"he replied nervously.He hoped that he woulded be finished here soon. He really needed to go to the toilet."Oh and apparently a library has been burnt to the ground. Also-"
"WHAT! ARE! YOU! TALKING! ABOUT?" he roared, picking up the messenger, Paul by the collar and slamming him into the wall."How could this happen. Why? When?How?"
"Don't know m'lord. Last night m'lord. Frolicking Farie Fire Oil m'lord" Paul replied shakely, his need to go the the toilet suddennly left.
"So. The Frolicking Faries of the South have allied with The Rabid Pixies of the West. Well. It seems they don't know who they dealing with." said Pacman, grabbing his sword. He left the room at a run, leaving Paul behind him. As he ran he ordered a horse to be readied as well as proviosons and the latest bestseller.
As Pacman rode, he encountered many plains and snialp's and many more. On the eve on the 42nd snialp he cried aloud " Why did I have to inherit a kingdom that consists solely of plains?"
Shouting out unto the heavens when you are entirely alone surrounded by endless plains was not considered strange.
Being answered was.
"After the corresponding variables had been neutralised, the remaining factors resulted in a chemical collapse causing a kaleidoscope of flaggulatted syndromes. Anything else you would like to know?"
"Uh, yeah", said Pacman. "What the hell are you?"
"A crustacean", answered the voice.
"I quote: The majority of crustaceans are marine forms, the most notable of which are shrimp, lobsters, crabs, and barnacles. Some crustaceans, including most crayfish, live in freshwater habitats. Still others, such as sand fleas, land crabs, and sow bugs, live in moist terrestrial environments. The class Malacostraca contains the larger and better-known crustaceans, including lobsters, shrimp, crabs, and crayfish, and encompasses more than two-thirds of all living species in the subphylum. End quote.
"Crab.C.R.A.B Crab!"the voice said.
"Yeah I get it. But whats with the wings?"Pacman was now thouroughly confused.
"Oh I get it. Picking on the little guy are we? Well just remember, you weren't always so big."
"I'm sorry I didn-" Pacman was cut off.
"And thats another thing. You and your fancy words. I don't want to heat it so bugger off. You are a ceespool full of cess!" The "crab" began menacingly sharpening its claws on its bulbous head.
Pacman had had enough. "Look. An obvious distraction", he yelled pointing everywhere at once.
Pacman rode off'
"Nooooooo. I'm sorry. I take it all back. All back. Let me go weith you. Pleease. Oh God. Why won't you let me go with you. Whyyyy?" the "crab" flew after Pacman in distress.
"Whyyy? Oh god wh-"
"I said yes" Pacman replied wearliy
"Oh. Thats good then .Grazie signor."
"So what are you, actually? And what's with the eyebrows?"
"Captain Plogg of The First Mark. Sky Crab Patrol, Ten Four. Bearer of the Eyebrow", Plogg replied proudly.
"Uh huh. And why are you coming with me?
"Meh?" asked Pacman.
"Meh", the sky crab shrugged its shoulders.
Well, okay", Pacman replied. "But I warn you. The road we take sahll be perilious and fraught with dangers.
This made interstellar mining very simple
Kinda like the opposite of a solar flare, only more painful
not that that is bad thing. In fact whole religions are dedicated to peculiarity
State was very important in a kingdom. Everybody believe that without State the kingdom would fall apart
these were the exact opposite of plains, except for their qualities which could be described as plain like
from "Galonka's Book of Living Crustaceans – warning: crustaceans may not actually be real
This is not actually true, but if sky crabs did have shoulders I'm sure that they would shrug them.