I'm giving up and it's just so hard to do.

I'm giving up talking to you first, or waiting endless hours for you to talk to me.

I'm giving up waiting for the day that things will go back how they used to be.

I'm giving up trying to figure you out; you never tell me anything about yourself and I'm always venting to you.

I'm giving up venting to you, to everyone. Or at least I'm trying.

I'm trying to give up thinking about you as often as I do; dreaming of you; and just plain out wanting you.

I'll never give up on you, though.

I'll always be here; I'll always be me. I'll always have the soft spot for you and will end up doing, not what I want, but what you want me to do. Always.

I'll try my best to never give up the eight weeks and two days. I've made it this far, so why not more? But now- but now it's not for me anymore. I can't stand to see you hurt every time I cut. I can't stand to cut, but everything hurts.

It's hard- to give up the one true thing that makes me feel safe; to give up one of the only people that I can trust; to give up one of the only people I've ever loved.

But as I think, and the more I think it, the more I want to know: why is giving you up so hard?

Why do I always wait for you to talk to me and why do I always give in? Why did things change from how they used to be?

How come I'm giving up trying to figure you out? How come you never tell me anything, unless I ask?

Why do I always vent to you? Plain out, why do I always vent?

How can I give up thinking about you? Dreaming of you? Wanting you? How can I not give up on you?

How can you, of all people,have sucha strong impact on me?

How come I can't do it myself?

Would it really be so bad if I just gave this all up?