A War With Tea

I dropped it in my tea cup
A tiny piece of crumb
I thought up quite the plan:
I would remove it with my thumb
But tea is made with tea bags
And water boiling hot
And my poor thumb found out
That boiling water hurts a lot

I took my thumb out dripping wet
And also rather sore
Insulted that it caused me pain
On tea, I declared war
For bullets I used sugar
And bombs were cream and milk
And cookie soldiers all lined up
On battlegrounds of silk

We battled all through luncheon
And halfway through dessert
'Till tea broke all the rules of war
And stained my Sunday shirt
I'd never seen such ruthlessness
From my own noontime drink
I rushed to the Infirmary
Also called: The Bathroom Sink

The nurses tried their very best
To save me from my fate
But so severe were casualties
They knew it was too late
I had lost the war with tea
And my whole meal, as well
And I had to clean up the mess
Where my brave soldiers fell

I pitied floral napkins
That had all been torn to bits
I pitied cups and saucers
Battered down by all their hits
I pitied soldier cookies
Wand'ring aimlessly about
But mostly, I pitied that crumb
That never made it out