Hey! Guess who's back for another chapter! That's right, your sexy secondary character! "Now, Oliver", you may ask "How the hell is it that you, of all people, got another chapter to yourself? You're not a writer, nor do you use proper grammar." Yeah, there's a good reason for that.
I'm boning the author.
See, what's different about this chapter, though, is that I've finally been able to read the story – or what Andy's written so far. I can't believe he really hasn't written any sex scenes between us. Yeesh. That's too bad, I'm a sexy bastard.
Anyway, after I went back to Andrew, and he was kind enough to take me back, things seemed to quiet down. I know a couple of you are probably wondering if I ever saw my parents again – I actually saw them while Andy and I were grocery shopping. He was pushing the cart and I had my arm around his waist (He's watching me type and he's blushing right now. Do you believe me now when I tell you that Andrew is the cutest thing in the world?)
We were walking down an aisle, and we weren't really paying attention, and I guess my parents weren't either and our carts kind of crashed into one another. I looked up and started to apologize, and the color just drained out of my face.
"Sorry about that." Andrew smiled and steered the cart away.
"…Mom. Dad."
I felt Andrew stare at me, and then at them. He pulled me closer to him, and I was both thrilled and horrified that he had done so. "It's so nice to meet you both." He said coldly. And again, it was a double-edged sword. I loved that he was sticking up for me, and it gave me the most amazing feeling of happiness, but I was afraid what they would say or do.
"… So. You still haven't given up this sinful lifestyle, Oliver?"
"..Nope." I didn't realize it until after, but I was shaking.
"How dare you flaunt it.. in a public place! With children around?!"
My throat tightened, and I was fighting back tears. "A..Andy." I whispered. He looked pissed off.
"Stay the fuck away from my boyfriend, you bible-humping fucktards."
He ushered me out of the aisle, although I would've liked to have seen the look on their faces, and I quickly wiped my eyes. "I'm so sorry." I could hear my mother's shocked gasp, and my father's low, angry voice.
"I'm so sick of people like that. I had a biblethumper in my psych class last semester. She seemed bound and determined to straighten me up."
I sniffled and looked down at my feet. No matter what I did, my parents had always made me feel like shit. And this was no different. Suddenly, I felt as if what I was doing was completely wrong.. Like.. by being with Andrew, I was no better than some child molester.
Don't get me wrong, I knew that there was nothing wrong with me being gay.. Just.. the looks they gave me… You have no idea. My father had terrified me since I was a boy. Let's just say that my father took that whole 'spare the rod, and spoil the child' thing seriously.
"I'm sorry." I said again. I felt like an idiot for crying. We were lucky – there weren't many people in the store. He kissed me lightly.
"Shh, baby. You know what we're going to do?"
"Wh… What?"
"We're going to go home, have some ice cream and snuggle on the couch. And then we're going to egg your parents' place."
This got a little smile from me. "I love you."
"I love you too. Even if there are kids around." He kissed me again and while I still felt guilty and shaken, it wasn't nearly as bad. Andrew just had this grounding effect on me.
That's probably I wasn't as upset as I should've been when I found out that Andrew had sex with Colin when we were broken up. I love him so much, and even though it ripped me apart to hear that, I put on a happy face and resolved to beat the tar out of Colin if I ever saw him again.
Before I go on, I'd like to say that my square pancakes kicked ass. How many guys can make square pancakes!? Damn rights. I'm one in a million. I'd also like to agree with Andy in that Pirates of the Caribbean is like softcore gay porn. That movie gets me so hot, and if Jack Sparrow and Will Turner aren't boning on that ship the entire journey, I'll be surprised.
During the movie, I worked on relieving a little of Andy's tension, if you know what I mean.
"Oh.." He moaned, leaning back against the couch. "God, you're good at this."
"Lots of practice." I smirked, going back to what I was doing.
"Mmn. Oliver.. " Andrew's body stretched out across the cushions, and he closed his eyes and made the cutest little happy sound.
"God.. Oh. Right there.. nn. Right there…"
"Here?"
"Yes.. Oh.. baby.." He shuddered, and relaxed. "I needed that."
I sat up and grinned at him, taking my hands off of his foot. "You want me to do the other one now?" He nodded blissfully and set his foot in my lap. I give awesome foot massages. When we were at an out-of-town thing for the team, we got to go to this spa and get a massage, and the girl gave me some tips on how to do it well.
..Wait. What did you think I was doing?
………you're a pervert!
Anyway… (you pervert.) I was really excited during Andrew's graduation, but once his name was called, I just kinda sat there and then became unbelievably happy that I had my game boy with me. So while they were doing Drummond through Zalinsky, I was playing Legend of Zelda. I wish I had remembered that when it was my own graduation.
And in my defense, I don't eat –that- much. I'm an athlete, damnit, and with that, comes an athlete's appetite.
Andrew even got me to dress up for the dinner with his parents – and if I do say so myself, I look damn good in a suit.
(God, yes. – Andrew)
We got to the restaurant, and I'm not sure which of us was more nervous. He was nervous because I guess the last time Colin met his parents, he got drunk off of his ass and made an idiot of himself. (I am not surprised, believe me.). I was nervous, because what if his parents were like mine?
"H.. Hello, Mr. And Mrs. Davies. " I offered my hand to Andrew's father, who hesitated and shook it. "Ma'am." I smiled weakly, well aware that I was shaking like a leaf.
We sat down, and I immediately started wondering if I should've pulled out Andrew's seat or something.. Oh god, I already fucked up the whole dinner. Shit. Shit. Shit. Now they're not going to let me date Andrew anymore.
"Anything to drink?"
"I'll just have a rum and coke, Dad. Oliver?"
"..I.. don't drink." I monotoned. "I prefer the non-alcoholic lifestyle. I'll just have some herbal tea."
All three of them stared at me. Oh fuck.
(You know, reading this now is a hell of a lot funnier than when it was happening at the restaurant. –Andrew)
"… Okay. Two rum and cokes, a glass of your house red, and some… herbal tea."
I could see Andrew's father keeping a tab of what I was eating in his head so he could deduct it from the bill. Hell, I could almost hear the little clicking of the calculator. Once we ordered (I was going to have a salad, but at Andrew's prodding, I ordered a big steak, same as him.)
I sipped at my herbal tea and inwardly kicked myself for not ordering a beer. I was going to need one by the end of the night.
"So. .. Oliver. .. What do you do?"
"..Do?" I asked, trying to work down a tea leaf that had made it halfway down my throat already.
".. As a job."
".. Well ,sir.. I.. just quit my job, actually."
"Where did you work?"
"I.. I was a salesman at a clothing store uptown. On 42nd."
"Oh, yes. I've been there. Very nice place."
One point for the boyfriend.
"So.. now I'm just trying some things out."
Why, oh why, didn't I order a beer!?
"Do you have any plans on what you want to do with your life?"
Good god. Did guys have to go through this when they were asking girls out? God help me if I wanted Andrew's hand in marriage.
I panicked, right then and there. My mind was a blank, and rather than blurt out 'I like cookies.' And smile stupidly. I swallowed, and hoped that Andrew's parents weren't big movie watchers.
"W.. well, sir.. I don't want to buy anything, sell anything, or process anything, as a career. " I started. I wasn't watching him, but I could feel Andrew's eyes go wide.
(I wanted to stab you with the shrimp fork. – Andrew)
" I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that… "
Andy's dad stopped me at this point (thank god) to ask the waiter something, and Andrew leaned over and whispered. "If you say you want to pursue a career in kickboxing, I will stab you with the shrimp fork."
I grinned nervously. "It was the first thing that came to my mind." I whispered back.
I didn't mean to dishonor Cameron Crowe or John Cusack – Say Anything is one of mine and Andrew's favorite movies, which is probably why I rambled off the speech. And no, I hadn't planned on mentioning kickboxing. It was a good thing that neither of his parents had seen the movie.
"So… what do you plan on doing then?"
"To be honest, sir, I haven't a clue. " I wanted a beer so bad at this moment that I was willing to jump the waiter and hold his family hostage, but if I was drunk, I might've ripped my clothes off and danced on the table, and Andy's parents didn't seem like the type to enjoy it.
His father didn't look pleased with my answer. "I see."
"When Andrew opens his own practice, I can be his sassy secretary. " I smiled. My humor was lost on his parents. I could see Andrew put his head in his hand out of the corner of my eye. When the waiter came by again, I desperately asked him for a beer. He nodded and left.
".. I thought you didn't drink."
"This situation calls for a beer." I said, fiddling with my napkin. When the beer arrived a minute later, I downed it in one gulp. "Look. I'm going to be honest again, even though it doesn't matter. I'm absolutely terrified right now, because I've been saying the wrong thing all night, and no matter what I say, you're not going to be happy with me, because I'm not a woman, and I'm not going to give you grandchildren.. "
Andrew started to say something, but I touched his arm to silently ask him to let me finish. I couldn't decipher the look on his father's face. When my refill beer came, I took a long sip of it.
"So.. no matter what I say or do, short of magically growing a uterus, I can't win with you people. I love Andrew. I love him more than anything." My poor napkin was ripped to shreds by now. "And.. I don't know what that means to you, but I.. I love him. I do. And I want to marry him."
There was complete silence at the table. Even the girl who had come to bring our meals set down our plates without a word. Andrew just stared at me, mouth agape. I was frantically going over what I had just said in my head, as if I were watching a movie and staring in horror at the screen.
.. Did I just ask Andrew to marry me? No, I just said I wanted to. Oh god. Are they waiting for me to say something?
"… I like cookies." I said in a small voice.
The three of them continued to stare at me. "… Oliver." Andrew said finally, after pounding back his rum and coke. ".. what are you saying?"
".. about the cookies?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
"…No, not about the cookies."
"Andrew, this isn't really proper dinner conversation.." His father cut in. Andrew shook his head.
"No, dad. I want to know. "
I swallowed and finished off my beer. ".. I.. w.. want to get married, Andy." I could hardly find my voice to speak. I was shaking like a leaf the whole time. Don't get me wrong, I didn't think he'd say no (maybe he wouldn't answer in front of his parents), but it was his parents reaction that was bothering me. After my own parents, I couldn't handle this again.
So now I was wondering how much of my steak I could fit into my mouth at once and still be able to run out of the restaurant.
"…. I wasn't aware that… you people could get married." Andrew's mother said into her salad. Andrew shot her a look and flagged down the waitress.
"Excuse me.."
"Is everything okay?"
"Something's come up. Could I get a separate bill for these and a doggy bag?"
His father rolled his eyes. "You're being dramatic, Andrew."
The waitress nodded and went off with our food. So much for stuffing my steak into my mouth and running off.
"I'm not being dramatic, Dad. I'm not asking a whole lot. I'm gay. It's not going to change, no matter how many nice girls you set me up with. I'd love to get married, Oliver."
I choked on my beer, and I heard his father choke across the table. ".. What?"
"What?"
"I like cookies too." He leaned across and kissed me, and I melted. "I know we have our problems sometimes.. but I love you, and I trust you completely."
Oh god. I will not cry in front of my boyfriends' parents. I will not cry in front of my boyfriends' parents. I will not.. ah, hell. Too late.
"I just don't understand where we went wrong.." I heard his mother say.
"You didn't go wrong, mom. I was just born like this. I'm happy. Shouldn't that count for something?"
Neither of them answered him. The waitress came back with our take-out containers, and Andrew gave her money to cover the bill and the tip.
"Bye, Mom. Dad. See you at Christmas. " He took the bag in one hand, took my arm with the other, and led me out of the restaurant.
"God.. Andy.. I'm so sorry." I shook my head and looked up. It had started raining since we went into the restaurant. "I just.. got verbal diarrhea there, and I.. wanted to stop talking, but I couldn't stop talking, and it was like I was watching myself across the restaurant, and I just couldn't stop an—" He kissed me, and I heard myself stop talking. "……. That works." I murmured against his lips.
"Come on. Let's go home."
And now we're pretty much up to date, except for one thing.
Andy and I got married last week. It was a tiny little ceremony – his brother was there as a witness, and he brought his girlfriend, so it was only the four of us and the judge, but I didn't care. I was absolutely giddy the whole time.
And when I heard the judge, or the justice of the peace or whatever the hell he was tell Andrew and I that we were married, I just.. felt .. whole. It was the most amazing feeling I could ever imagine.
Okay. So maybe the way we met wasn't the most conventional of ways, but we love each other, and that's what's important. We had our problems, and it wouldn't ever be perfect (That'd be boring as hell.), but I mean, that's what we're supposed to do, isn't it? Work through them together and grow as people or some shit.
I should end it here, in case Andy wants to say something. I'll just say one more thing.
Andy – I love you.
You know, I can't think of a damn thing to add that Oliver hasn't said already. I'd say 'You complete me', but someone already ripped off a Cameron Crowe movie once in this chapter and I don't want to do it again. (Of course, I could sing 'Tiny Dancer' and go for the trifecta..)
So I'll just thank whoever read this for putting up with Oliver and I.. and all our many highs and lows..
I love you, Oliver. You're the most amazing person I've ever met, and the best friend I'll ever have.
Good night, everyone. I wish you all the best in your love lives…
….and if your phone rings, you should probably answer it.
It might change your life.
Author's Note: Thank you all to everyone who read this story. I'm very proud of it and the way it turned out. I just sat down to write tonight and ended up writing four or so pages (this CD is great. It's called "Both Hands" by an indie artist named Wil - it's really awesome acoustic music, check it out. It just killed my writer's block.) and the ending made me cry. I hope you guys like it. Please, if you like it, pass it along to other people. I love word of mouth. As always, I accept fanfic or fanart if you're interested, just e-mail it to me.
So, thanks again, and hope this was a good conclusion for everyone.
-Beautiful Midnight August 3, 2005