"Non-Profit Fornication Organization"

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The sirens crack open and the lights burn the sky,

And I never, ever, ever, should have killed that guy.

But there was nothing I could really say or do,

Except take a plane to Maine and see if I could kill you, too.

Policemen always try and make me say that I regret it,

But if they think I'll crack the motherfuckers can forget it.

There is only one thing I'd love to do in my heart,

And that would be to find you out and punch your ass apart.

There has never been a time in life when I was lucky,

Except that time that stupid bitch would give me sucky-ucky.

But when she started to share the gift she was given,

I then had to sort the soon-deceased from the living.

And some of you might think that I'm a little absent-minded,

But if she did that to your dick then you would do what I did.

She took a chip right out and I had to right the wrong,

Even if she did look like a million dollars in a thong.

So when the deed was done I thought I'd take a look around,

Figured I might take a drive around the town.

But her body wouldn't even fit halfway inside the trunk,

So there wasn't much that I could do to cover up the funk.

And maybe I'm living in exile but it isn't all that bad,

Leaving Maine was worth all of the good times I had.

And when I'm sad I think about the Wise Man and his kin,

And how the earth is not a flat screen and he ain't tryin' to fit in.

This town is nothing but the crime and trash and pimps and sluts,

So never look down on me unless you're helping me up.

And if you ever decide that you would like to fuck with me,

I suggest you start thinking it over and listen to my stories.