He lay under the steel girder, bleeding from his throat.

Breathing was already difficult with the pressure from the steel, but it now became complicated by the fact that the blood from his cut tongue and broken nose was starting to accumulate in the back of his throat quicker than he could spit or swallow.

It was bad enough that he had just been bitten by a Black Mamba snake, tied with the Tapier as the world's deadliest, and it was still attached to his right arm. He also had an encounter with a poison arrow frog, which was now attached to the snake.

A one-third-werewolf-one-third-werefox-one-third-vampire was chewing on his right leg.

A belt sander that had been knocked over by one of the girders was nulling away his left leg.

He had landed on an anthill, so fire ants were having a go at his crotch.

Due to the way he fell, his right arm was floating in a molten aluminum-mercury mix.

One of the girders had knocked a barrel of potassium cyanate into the vat of phosphoric acid, releasing cyanide gas.

The floor was covered with broken glass and cigarette butts.

In the background, Kenny G was playing. It was featuring Justin Timberlake, David Hasslehoff, and Michael Bolton. This further aggravated him, because his wife had produced that album, then left him for Bolton.

As the collapse occurred, he was trying to eat mini cheese cubes with the little toothpicks in 'em. He had thrown them in the air when he turned to run, and now several were sticking out of his eyes. Oh, and it was bleu cheese.

He knew he would probably die soon, but he didn't have a problem with this, because he did have good news. He was able to reach his roll of Mentos, and he had just saved a ton on his car insurance by switching to Geico.

A/N: This is stupid. I should have deleted it.

I had a chapter dedicated to me and just had to write something and dedicate it. But I couldn't come up with anything good (five of the worst haikus you would ever see,) so I just wrote this. No talent needed. At least the grammar and spelling both appear to be good.

Anyways, this is dedicated to Furballof Evilness ) Since many of you may be pissed off at reading such a crappy story, and need to read something good in order to stop screaming, go there.

If anyone has even bothered to read this far, considering this is the worst story ever, FLAME ON!