"I feel my self a slipping away."

-NIN "slipping away"

Author's note

First of all I would like you all to know that I did research this story especially on such a real and dire subject such as bulimia my main sources in case you want to learn anymore or think you might be bulimic.

As always

The Magician

How awful she was, God damn it, couldn't she stop doing this to her self.

Sarah rubbed the blister on her finger and stood in the kitchen nervously, her teeth were turning an ugly shade of yellow, which didn't help with her appearance because she was already as fucking fat as a cow.

But here she was in the kitchen anyway and no one else was here, but her, which meant she wouldn't have to eat in her room this time. She hadn't eaten for a good three days and she knew she was cheating on her diet, but she was so hungry. Just one big meal like always, then we get rid of it, flush it right down the pisser.

What should she eat, did it really mater, whatever she ate would make her even more fat she would eventually look like a freaking house, but her diet would help that, as soon as he stopped cheating.

As she walked to the freezer, some old chocolate cheese cake was in there, along with two tubs of Buddy Freddy's, she remembered a few years ago when her best friends had been old Buddy and Freddy when her boy friend had broke up with her. Ha. Sarah knew she was ugly she know that her last boyfriend would probably be the only one she could get, the only guy that didn't care about how fat she was, nobody loves her.

She took a bowl and spoon and dished her self up a couple of servings of cheesecake and chocolate cherry chunk, she could get rid of it, it was all about taste, and comfort, god she felt alone, so alone, poor Sarah.

Buddy and Freddy still loved her, the ice cream hurt her teeth so god damn much but she managed to clear out both tubs and the entire cheese cake, how the fuck could he eat like this, she was a monster, a huge fat monster. God wouldn't it be nice to be skinny, like the little whore Brittney Spears, she felt full and figured she savor it for a few minutes till she got rid of it.

Nobody loved her.

'I love you.'

She turned from the table, and looked across the room to see a transparent man wearing a black business suit floating about a foot above the ground.

Sarah rubbed her eyes, this had to be the food doing this to her.

'No I am not a hallucination.'

She looked confused.

'Who the fuck are you.'

The man floated towards her. 'I am Mammon. I love you, just like Buddy and Freddy, but more so. I am real and tangible. In the vaguest sense of the meaning.'

Sarah felt mixed feelings and also a little sick from all the food she had eaten. 'You do?' She questioned.

'Yes I do, and I want to help you, but first let us get all of that shit out of you.' Mammon said gesturing towards the bathroom.

Sarah got up and walked in there, she knew the drill, but she felt odd doing it front of some one she had always done it in private. But she had always felt as if someone was telling her to do it. She leaned over the porcelain throne and jammed her first two fingers down her throat, lately it had been harder and harder to manage to get the good old gag reflex going.

But she managed it, she began to vomit, it stung her teeth horribly, and hurt the blister on her fingers.

And she continued to vomit.

'That's a good girl.' Mammon said stroking her hair. 'Just get rid of all that shit out your stomach.'

She kept on puking it felt good to please this man, if he really loved her he knew what was best of her. She couldn't keep putting her fingers down her throat though, it began to hurt too much. She tried to say so, but couldn't.

'Don't worry I will help you.' Mammon said and jammed his two gloved fingers down her throat continuing the induced vomiting.

And Sarah began to feel as if something was very wrong, and her left arm felt numb. Sarah died of a heart attack vomit dripping from her mouth as she leaned over the toilet, Mammon smiling next to her.

Her corpse was found that morning by her dorm mates her face leaning in the defiled toilet water a shade of blue that resembled the sky.