His blood shot eyes peered through tinted frames of his sunglasses and out the window.

His life had become eternity and all eternity was, is a maddening haze of loneliness and confusion.

How long had he lived liked this two, three years of his solitude.

It was in the fall and he listlessly watched the children play outside in the brightly colored rain of leaves.

All through the window.

Everything he wanted, but couldn't have was outside that window.

It felt like his heart was sinking in his chest. But he no longer had a heart.

What about a soul? Probably not he probably lost that in high school with the other kids. Not that he associated with the other kids.

He was prominently hated, but at least hen he lived in more than a dream

He lived a dream from his lack of sleep though.
Yes that's what is needed is sleep.

But he dismissed this thought quickly rolling the unlight cigarette in his lips.

He hadn't slept for four days why should he.

And with this erratic sleeping pattern he would always go into REM rebound and have constant dreams of her. Yes her.

But that was all gone now.

Try to think back. His child hood. But he couldn't.

No days with friends in the fall, no friends, no hugs from mom and dad, no Trick O' Treating.

He couldn't remember anything.

Speaking of which when was Halloween pretty soon. Was his guess.

Maybe he could make them happy.

Yes get really nice candy for the kids to have. Yes they would be so happy. They would ring his doorbell and he would be wearing a mask and have a bowl full of candy. Yes it was wonderful.

He would go out to the store now.

He got dressed in black pants and a nice long sleeved white business shirt after taking a shower and combing his hair.

And he would be happy.

When he left his dull prison of a house. He felt alive again in the epitome of anticipated joy.

The kids previously outside were gone.

And he walked to the bus stop in silenced.

When he arrived at the rusted bus stop sign he sat on the equally rusted metal bench.

Just ten minutes bus arrived.

The bus full of joyful travelers, that would greet him even though they did not know him.

He sprawled out on the bench.

And waited, it was the longest ten minutes ever. Things always seemed that much longer.

Just ten minutes.

He remembered in his senior high school year. A group of kids had caught him and beat him up.

It was a cool day like this one and they had him pressed up against e the locker how the black steel had felt cold like it was biting into his skin and the whole world seemed cold, except the warm blood dribbling down the side of his face.

And they kept slamming his head against he locker and the earth jarring blows.

And the he probably got a concussion.

Then his right eye started to shake and he could see.

But who had taken care of him?

Who am I? I am Chris.

Chris who?

Just Chris is all I know.

Damn

Then the bus arrived a huge mechanical monster.

And when he got in no one was in there. He was alone and all he could feel was a pang of sorrow to add to a life of hell.