Payback's a Bitch
I am no normal teenager.
No not at all. You see, I experience things not a lot of adults see or hear. The fact that some of my friends have strange "habits", "hobbies", and problems (all the quoted are strictly used for coded reasons) does not categorize my life as "normal".
If I can recall, there was a time in my life where I could have have quit the whole idea of optimism. Yes, indeed. Call me suicidal. Go ahead. But just know you fucking jerks, if you think you've pushed me as far as to my death- you're damn wrong.
I am living to say this, aren't I?
You fools may have tricked me in your little no-good traps but now, as am I older and wiser, let me say this: Fuck you. Fuck your rotten souls and may Satan cast you to infinite hell (much worse than the hell you've given me!) in your sick, bastardly lives!
I don't know why I told myself I've fallen for you—the initials of N.C, J.H, and S.H. You taught me nothing and only deceived me into thinking it was love when it was not! How could I be so foolish?!
Besides, why would I have to change the real me to impress you- huh? Why did I have to become a popular bitch in order to fulfill your needs N.C.? Why did I have to answer your ridiculous love notes J.H.? Why did I have to get used to your racism, that all Philippine girls are sluts when they grow up S.H.?
Of all this preposterous foolishness, I could have taken up the courage to either slap you or fight you back. But I didn't.
So three years later, I am here, killing you softly with my words. I am just hoping that when I meet you again, you will muster up some damn apology. Because if you don't I'd fucking kick your non-apologetic nuts.
Now wouldn't that hurt?
Oh, and this is not only for the boys! No; not at all. It's also to you damn Korean bitches who constantly made fun of me behind my back. I despised how you'd walk your damn asses down the halls, looking at me and speaking in your oh-so-great language. Don't you dare think I didn't notice! I am, like you Asians, have a language of my own. When I see the expressions in your little, conceited faces, I know you're talking shit about me!
You two, here are my words (sorry if it's not in Korean) and listen carefully: get a damn life, and learn to respect other people- whether they be Asian or not.
Just do not call for my "Asian" help when you get jumped. That will not be my fault.
Then, let me also point out my dear, backstabbing friends! You know the ones who give no damn whatsoever to your feelings? Well I reserve another hate for you. I opened up a bit of myself and what do you give in return? No love. No respect. No care at all.
You gave me nothing but a stab in my back.
Allow me to stab yours and walk away as if I didn't have the care in the world (just like you did).
Payback is a bitch, isn't it?
Today, 3 years later, 3 years wiser and 3 years better, my only words to conclude (which I have never before said to you):
Author's Note: Should I continue? It's a bit of autobiography and I'm not sure if it should continue....?