Hey guys, look, i didn't take as long to update! haha! Well, i'm kinda catching up to myself :S ...i'm writing chapter 18 now and i gotta say that my attention span on it is decidedly lacking....well, i'm home from school and i'm working full time, but i have all of August off of work AND school, haha! yay, free time. Oooh, that sounds nice, curled up in a lawn chair on the beach, writing...(sigh) good ole PEI...

Anywho, enjoy the chapter, i should put another one up in not too long.

Thanks for sticking with me guys!

15

Drew Macintyre

Not again, Jesus fucking Christ, not again.

I paced the apartment in a rage. Our apartment no longer, it was only my apartment now. I glared at it, hating every last inch of it. My days of rage had come to an end and had been replaced by a dark, endless rage. Twice, she had been betrayed, twice, she had bee stolen from me, but this time, she would not be coming back. I felt bad that I had not yet grieved for Natalia's father, but there was just no room left in me for that sadness; it was all for her.

I knew that once the anger was gone, I would have nothing left but an emptiness, a hollowness that would haunt me for many years to come, perhaps the rest of my life.

Natalia and I had only been together for 3 years, but we felt like we had known each other for our entire lives. We were two people, but it was like we were one complete person. We were soul mates, a perfect match for each other.

And now that is gone.

After a few more years, we were going to run away together and escape this life. We were going to start a family and do all the normal, crazy things that people could do, like coach soccer, go to parent-teacher meetings, travel for no other purpose then relaxation. I wanted a daughter to be protective of and to see do all the girly things Natalia never got to do as a child. She had been so excited about her children having a chance to live a normal life. She wanted to have to buy a minivan and drive our kids to piano lessons.

Now she'll never do any of that.

Some would believe, because I have taken the lives of others, I must lack any emotion, any heart. On the contrary, I was very connected to my emotions which allowed e to turn them off and on. Except now, they were beyond my control. But, I remembered the face and name of every man I 'd ever killed, even when I was doing it to keep food on the table for my parents, God rest their souls. They had been murdered, and now Natalia and Teran's faces lay with theirs on the short list of those I had cared and sadly, that had been killed. They were all gone, all I had left was Tye.

Teran had been a second father to me. When Natalia and I quarrelled he was always there to give me advice on women. He'd wrestle with me and tussled my hair and say I was a bad influence of his daughter. I had even lived there for a month or so when a heated argument with my landlord led to my abrupt eviction. He'd laughed when Natalia asked, saying, "Well, the boy does everything here but sleep, so he might as well do that."

As soon as I could go, Natalia, who had become accustomed to having me there, moved out and in with me. That's when she and I got our legitimate jobs, her as a personal trainer, me as a track coach.

Shit, I thought, I'd have to call Natalia's work place before they reported her missing. Rika Rose had moved away because of a sudden death in the family. Rika Rose was not dead, Natalia was dead. There would no elaborate church service or burial, neither Teran nor Natalia believed in God.

"I bow to no God," she always said, "I and I alone control my choices in life." Then she would laugh, "And if, by some sick chance, there is a higher power, then my place in hell was forged the day I was born, right beside the dark Lord himself."

There was no body of Natalia's to bury, though over half the people killed in the explosion were still missing. They had found Teran's body; he had been cremated and his ashes spread over his garden. That's the way he wanted it. Tye had called the friend of the family to the Gerdou house for a meet later this week to say a few words and final goodbyes. This was a sad time in the assassin community. The world had lost two legends a week ago, and the underworld cried for them. They were loved and respected and no one, no one thought it would end this way.

Not fair.

The sadness that had regain a foothold in me was swept away in a flood of hatred. It wasn't fair to her, it wasn't fair to me.

Crane will pay.

He would pay, but it was proving to be more of a challenge then It had first appeared.

The man called Mati and the other one, Crane, had vanished from the face of the earth. The meeting with Natalia in Crane's law office was all a hoax, he had rented the office from the firm under the guise of it being for a movie. Even found a firm with a man name Julian Crane. So all the degrees and honours in the office had been real so Natalia had been mildly fooled by the plot. She still had wondered why he had met her in his own office, had never truly believed it was his.

Fooled, Natalia was never fooled, someone had betrayed her, someone made a deal with Crane that involved ridding themselves of her. Couldn't have any pesky witnesses around, could they?

I wanted to know who that traitorous bastard was, who would dare do what he did? I was so angry not even the music playing from the TV behind me soothed me the slightest. I was ready to strangle the first thing that came before me.

The doorbell rang.

Ah, a gift from God, I thought as I stomped to the door, ready to take my anger out on the delivery man, salesman or annoyance that stood on the other side. I swung open the door with violent intent, not bothering to look as what was there before hand.

I froze. Atom Gerdou stared back at me, or rather down at me a large 6'3" to my 5'11", Atom was a full four inches taller than me and was built strongly like his father with a lean, but hard-lined face, Atom looked like he was chiselled from stone. Hard blue eyes shone out from behind his trademark Gerdou-raven black hair.

All the anger fell from me. This was my once to be brother-in-law who had lost this father and his sister in one fell swoop. My heart went out to his. I knew what it was like to lose your whole family. It ripped you apart. I bet it was just killing him. Atom hadn't been close with his father, but it seemed like he and Natalia were tight. She did everything she could to help him be apart of the Gerdou legacy, though he just wasn't good enough yet. Without his father or his sister I doubted that he would ever be good enough.

I backed away from the door, gesturing for him to step inside.

"Come in," I said gently.

Atom walked in, closing the door behind him. I watched his eyes scan the walls, taking in every photo of Natalia and I and the paiting she had done for the apartment. Natalia was a brilliant painter, she had a thing for painting the various plants I grew in the living room and on the deck. There wre a million things in this room that reminded me of her and it kille dme to see them, but I could never bring myself to get rid of them.

"Tye called," Atom said tensely, "the gathering is at the house on Friday at seven."

"Seven?"

"Yeah, you might want to come early."

"I'll be there at six."

"Good," he stepped back towards the door. "Oh, the reason I stopped in was, well, Tye read over Teran and Natalia's wills and he asked me to tell you to bring Natalia's black Phoenix sunglasses and her leather jacket to the gathering she left them to two of her friends."

I nodded, "I'll remember."

With that, Atom moved his 260 lbs of bulk out the door without another word. The guy moved like a shadow and at times just weirded me out. While Natalia's bright violet and Teran's silver blue eyes were bright and full of vitality, Atom's eyes were icy blue and were just that, ice. Contemptuous and hateful they were the very opposite to their kin.

I felt bad then, it was true that there was no love lost between us, but he didn't deserve to be criticized by me, especially not right now. The anger in me was still looking for something to vent on.

"We interrupt this program for a special news update."

I turned to face the TV.

"We've received reports that search and rescue operatives are pulling out of the site of the Terranium stadium bombing because of dangerous amounts of debris falling from the collapsing upper layer. My deepest regrets go out to the families still waiting for loved ones."

"Damn it," I yelled, and spontaneously punched the TV, shattering the glass.

Anger successfully vented.

I pulled my fist from the screen. Picking shards of glass from it as I walked to the kitchen to run it under water.

The sting from the cuts felt good as it brought my mind from other, more dark places back to something as real and simple as physical pain.

Holding my hands under the water, I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I had my years ahead of me and I had to learn to deal with it.

It will take a long time though, a very long time.

What did you think? Better? Worse? The most heart-wrenching chapter is yet to come....lol, i actually really like the chapter I'm writing now, where the plot gets really spicy lol! Anywho, see you again soon,

Please review and say hello, so i know you guys are still reading and make it worth it for me to take my time off and put it into writing!

Byes!

Natasha