Wha? Why haven't I updated in like three months? … Look, a bunny! runs away.
Peace, Love and Cher, Patricia
By the time Randy pulls into my driveway and unlocks the door, I have gone through the entire package of tissues in my purse, the pack of tissues in Randy's car, soaked through my own flimsy little shirt, most of Randy's seat cover, and my shoes. It's three in the morning, and cans of soda, my purse, a few cans of dog food that Randy must have picked up at some point for his dog, my jacket, and a gerbil ball are sprawled out all over the backseat. I unhook my seatbelt and give Randy one last longing look before opening the door and walking around to the backseat, opening the door behind Randy and extracting my purse.
"Thank you." I say, shutting the door softly and walking up to Randy's window, which he rolls down.
"Let me walk you in," He says quietly. I step back, he rolls up his window again, opens his door, and shuts it behind him. "Lucian will be fine." Randy tells me, reaching out and putting his hand on my shoulder.
"I know." I say, my throat dry and my eyes red and rubbed raw. I turn around, walking past the birdfeeder on a stick in the front lawn and stand on my front stoop, fishing around in my purse for my door keys.
"Here?" Randy asks, proffering my keys to me.
"Where did you get these?" I demand. Randy jerks his head back toward the door.
"You dropped them in my lap when you threw your purse into the backseat." He says simply. I nod reflectively, reaching forward to get my keys from him. I secure them in my hot little fist and turn to my door, opening it and immediately shutting it to prevent a whining Aryan from slinking out the door. I can hear Thunder's loud, boyish paws as they, well, thunder down the stairs.
"BARK!" Thunder screams, pressing his cold little nose to the window beside the door.
"Hold on, Nora," Randy says, spinning me around from where I stand with my hand on the doorknob.
"Yeah?" I ask.
"WOOF!" Thunder shouts again, whining frantically.
"Meer." Agrees Aryan from his side.
Randy reaches to my face, and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "You're beautiful when you smile, Nora." He says quietly, patting my cheek. "Why don't you do it for me now?"
I smile shyly. "I can't smile tonight, Randy."
"Sure you can!" He says resolutely, letting go of me and lifting his right arm. "Oh!" He shouts, loud enough to wake the dead. "What's this? My hand has transformed into some sort of claw!"
"Randy, shh!" I scold, eyes darting around distractedly, trying to think of an excuse to the neighbors as to why Nora Muldoon is standing on her front stoop with a possessed-looking boy pretending to be a robot at four in the morning.
"It's a tickle claw!" He screams at an insanely loud decibel level, at which point I give up on quieting him down: he's like a tea kettle. He just gets louder until you take the heat off.
"Oh, is it?" I ask, playing along.
"Yep." Is his only response, and then suddenly he's everywhere, darting under my chin, in my armpit, behind my knee, on the waistband of my blue jeans…and there are tears in my eyes from the sudden bursts of laughter that come out of me, pent up childish noises that squeal and squawk and protest loudly and incoherently, bouncing off the trees and fake plants that surround my front stoop.
In the end, Randy nips me both under my chin and behind my knee at the same time and I collapse in a fit of nervous giggles on top of the "WELCOME, FRIEND!" wrought-iron mat at our front door. I curl up into the fetal position, rolling over so that my butt's in the air. Anything to fend off Randy, who crouches beside me, desperately attempting to get at me at any way he can. Thunder who, from inside, sees me as being attacked, barks loudly and violently. Aryan has succeeded in climbing onto his back and clawing her way to the top of his head where she sits regally, watching with an eerily stony and indifferent look on her face, head cocked and ears flicked back.
Eventually Randy relents and I roll over, dizzy and heady with laughter. "Thank you for that." I say drunkenly.
"I learned it from that Jim Carey movie," Randy says smugly, pulling his hair out of his eyes and rubbing my back. "Liar Liar, I think." He says as he stands.
"That was a good one." I say faintly, looking up at Randy who glances down at me. Aryan deigns to laugh snidely in a way that only cats can, letting out one dignified little noise.
"Choo!" Says Aryan, and I clamber to a standing point, beet red. Randy stands beside me, and turns to look at me.
"I'll do anything for you, Nora-bora." He says quietly and suddenly, seizing my chin and kissing me ever so gently and faintly.
"I know." I say, coming up for air before I go back.
We stand there for several minutes before Thunder lets out another earth-shattering bark and we sprint apart.
"Goodnight, Randy." I say, watching him walk back to his car before patting my shoulder.
"Goodnight, Nora." He calls as he drives away, gone as suddenly as his kiss.
I stand with one hand on the doorknob, glancing into the dark-slowly-becoming-dawn and let myself into the house, ignoring the dog kisses and the cat winding her way in a figure-eight between my legs.
"I love you." I say out the window to the dawn.
Let's just say I'm busy; which I am. If anybody actually reviews, I'm shocked.