dUh gEtTo cHapTuR fO sHiT
hEY wANkSTA! iZ u TiRd uV dEM aZzHoLZ hAtIn cOz u Iz uH wAnKsTa? dEn DiS iZ dUh SiTe 4 u!
If someone looks at you, inform them that you will promptly be kicking their ass. Get up in their face and wave your arms around like a chimpanzee on speed and yell, "Are you TALKING TO ME, wAnKStA?"
Wear your pants at your knees. Wear a belt to keep your pants securely around your knees. Be sure to drag your pants along, as you walk, and then get mad when anyone mentions that the style was started by homosexual inmates who wanted to indicate to other inmates that they were ready for certain activities that most homophobic gAnGsTaZ condemn.
Wear bling-bling. Ask girls (if you iZ uH mAn fO sHiT), "yOo LyK mAh bLinGaGe?" If she looks at you like you're from Mars, scream, "YOU JUSS DON' LIKE ME CUZ I'M BLACK, FO SHIT!" This especially works if you aren't.
cAPiTAlIZe eVErY tHIrD lETtER! sOmEtImEs sWiTcH tO eVeRy OtHeR lEtTeR tO bE oRiGiNaL. DEN maKe sHOOr nuTHIn's sPELlD rITE fO shIT.
Learn ubonics. Just listen to "gangstas" saying stuff and start using it randomly in your vocabulary. For instance, if your mother asks you if you would like more tomatoes, don't say, "Yes, please," say, "Gimme mah shizzle, home skillet!" It doesn't have to make sense, because 95 of the population will have no idea what you're saying, and the other 5 will not be intelligent enough to recognize mistakes in your speech pattern.
Wear whatever rappers wear. The more ridiculous it looks, the gangsterer it is.
Ask girls to "skank your hang" (if you iz uH gUy fO sHiZzLe), wEaR yo pantz at yo neez, don't showur & nevuh wash yo hair until it getz reel greeseey & den tell gay peepul they iz gross.
Wear a doorag. If you don't have one, just cut up a cloth book cover and put it on your head. It'll look about the same. If you don't have one of those, a balloon will suffice.
Sit in the back of the bus, and then talk about how people iz hatin' cuz deyr discriminatin, even though you're doing exactly what your great grandparents fought to make sure you didn't have to do.
MAKE SURE THAT AT ALL TIMES YOU ARE TALKING SO LOUDLY, THAT IF SOMEONE WERE TO FIRE A GUN IN THE ROOM YOU'RE IN, NO ONE WOULD HEAR IT.
Make up raps. They don't have to make sense, so long as they rhyme.
mAH GIRlFrIend's like woa
She doesn't say no
My lawn needs to be mowed
Yo, yo, yo
OH DIS! OH DIS!
So mah chicken said yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahyuuuuh
But nobody really cayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuhs
I barfed and went blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyuh
I chunked up a flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyuuuh
I aint duh kinda man
Who likes to clean the can
Or belongs to a clan
I'm a 50-Cent fan
We invaded Iran (or something)
I'm such a manly man
The lawn is something I don't like to moe
You're just a stupid ho!
My uncle's name is Joe!
My IQ is really low!
Or dis 1!
I aint got no friends
Who don't drive no mercedes bends
But that depends
On your shower curtains
Or DIS, dUH TIGHTEST OF DEM ALL!
She saw me, said woa
May be a do do
But I aint goanna go
Cuz I like to say yo
And I love my bro
And my uncle's name is Joe
And I got a lotta dough!
I met a fella,
and he was yella,
and he was carrying an umbarella,
which started to smella,
but then the doorbell rang uh
and it went dinga-donga,
and it was my girlfrienda
and we played pinga-ponga,
but I can't talk for too longa
cuz her name was La Tonguah,
and since this is rap I'll talk about a thonga,
this is a great songa,
but they I had to sayah, sayah,
I ain't nuttin but a playah, playah,
but that's okay-yah, kay-yah,
cuz there's nothing on today-uh,
but then mah grandpa, grandpa,
he thought that I was dumb-uh, dumb-uh,
he made me spit out my gum-uh
A/N: I am not trying to discriminate against African Americans, or any other non-Caucasians. I am simply making fun of EVERY label, including some of the ones I identify with in later chapters, so no one is going to be targeted above everyone else.