Do you hear them? Those voices? I do. Their words almost like the rhythm of my mind. They are one with it, and thus I follow them. I'll kill if they wanted me to, I'd kill myself if that was their very wish. I am bound to these voices, and they to I.
When did these all start, you might ask? I was not always like this. Once, I had loved and been loved. And once, pain was so distant to me. I though of only one thing, and I cherish every moment that passed me by. Oh, but not these days. Those times were long forgotten.
Bitter, yes, bitterness had seeped through my veins—tainted the once optimistic man, corrupted a once beautiful perspective of life. What was left in me was just a faced to disguise the true darkened remnants of my soul. No capability for true mirth. Now, only bitterness remains. And these voices of course.
They even call me the forsaken one, could you believe that? I no longer have a god. He abandoned me a long time ago, and now I detest him. God, hah! I quiver with vehemence in just hearing his name. What has he truly done for me to make my life any better? I never saw his hand over my fallen struggles. I never felt his warmth on my shoulders. He was never there when I needed him! God is only an excuse for the weak. That was what they always told me, and still, I hear it over and over again.
It's frightening sometimes—to hear and feel the voices within yourself, yet you savor it with such delight. Even if they gnaw through your bones, peel your very existence. It's fine with me now. I live with it everyday. They are my only companions.
But who really cares to listen to a madman's ranting? Would they even bother to think of what I would have been if things were different? I doubt it, for everything is over and done with. And what I am now is what life made me into.
Yes, only them. These voices are my only companions now.