And this is another piece by Savvy. (So far half of the stuff on this account was written by Allyana…)
Okay, just so you know, I didn't write the first three sentences. They were a writing prompt, from which I wrote this lovely story for my friend (all last names being edited out of the text).
There are quite a few inside jokes, but I think y'all can probably get a laugh out of it anyway. But believe me, it's dumb humor. Not intelligent humor. So read at your own risk, but do read!
Oh, and by the way, there are footnotes, so take a look. (Grr! Can't use astericks, so they're numbered.)
For lack of a better name, Sarah's Joey Story!
He bent down, grinding dirt beneath his feet in the middle of the night. Running his fingers across the dirt, testing the soil. It had been moved recently; they had buried the bodies here. Yes, this was the place. Joey's body was HERE, not where everyone though he was in the cemetery. Of course, most people didn't realize that he had been alive up until a couple of days ago. But that was neither here nor there. Right now was about bringing Joey back to life to torture in front of Sarah. Oh how he would relish the look on her face!
Sarah looked out her window and couldn't believe what she was seeing. Had someone spiked her soda last night? No, she felt completely like herself.1 Those were definitely there. What she didn't get was what giant orange caterpillars were doing marching up to her house. Then she noticed who was leading them. It was…. But could it be? YES!! It was Joey!2
Joey marched those caterpillars up Sarah's lawn. That boy who had awoken him had no idea what he was dealing with! It was easy enough to raise him from the dead, but to control him? Yeah right.3 But Joey did know the boys intentions, and he didn't like them one bit. So he called up his army of BRIGHT ORANGE MANEATING CATEPILLARS and got that boy. And now he was going to show Sarah what they could do. And then he would use their magic to de-age himself and live as someone else. But that was another story, for another time.
Then Sarah noticed who the caterpillars were towing along with them. What was HE doing here?? But just then she saw a disturbingly gruesome and yet satisfying sight. They were EATING him! Yay! He was gone for good!4 And Joey was still coming!5 As he got to her window the caterpillars all started crawling away to become his BRIGHT GREEN MANEATING BUTTERFLY ARMY! He shouted out, "Sarah! Come down here! Let's go make out in my car!6 Wait! I don't have a car… 7Your parents' car! Let's go!" Sarah ran downstairs and lived happily ever after.
THIS IS SO NOT THE END!8
1And feeling like herself is supposed to guarantee no one spiked her drink… Hhhmmm…
2Oohh… maybe someone is really messing with here. If you saw a dead guy leading a bunch of giant caterpillars, wouldn't you wonder?
4Yup, somethin' in the drink. But we are still glad that he's gone… (and only we know who he is.)
6Would you go make out in Joey's car?
7How 'bout we make out on my bicycle?? (Sarah's suggestion!)
8Okay, so it most likely is, but that's what I wrote on the paper, and it's what I typed up here.
Review, review! Tell me it was funny, or how you absolutely hated it! Let me know, it helps so much! Thankie thankie!