:: By Hitori-Hoshi ::

-Because of the things I do

I have no choice but to sleep

These demons keep chasing me

I just can't seem to get away

-In my wake

The world around me…

It's so confusing

What do I do?

-Because of the things around me

I don't know what to think

Colors swim together

Like that of a water soaked canvas

-My body breaks

I swim in my own warm life

Everything is so cold now

My mind is chained inside

-I don't like it when people give me orders

They don't understand me

Should I make them understand?

Would they be able to?

-I've been used so many times



All because of who I am

-Why do I have to be this way?

Why can't I be different?

I don't want to be me anymore

I don't what my past

-Don't make me remember

Hot, greedy hands

Touching my burning flesh

Can't you see, it hurts

-Once my skin becomes cool,

I lay and I cry

What the hell have I done?

What's wrong with me?

-I'm bleeding

Broken and torn inside

I want to be healed again

But I don't want to take any chances

-I don't want to hear anything

I want to touch the dark void

I want to be alone

Let me feel darkness

-I refuse to be alone

But then again, I don't

I want to feel warmth

But I don't want to see the source

-I want the world to be my canvas

I want to paint with the colors I choose

My blade to be the brush

My blood to be that paint

-Everything here is the same

Nothing ever changes

Same situations

Different forms, faces and a new twist

-It's not as if I want to die

I just have something I wasn't to protect

One think actually worth living for

What I want to be my only responsibility

-Why do you all insist?

On taking everything away from me

It's not fair

Why can't I take my own?

-Everything has a cycle

A cycle, which it must follow

Only is it rare

That something will not follow the given cycle

-I don't want people thinking I am weak

Or that I am ruined and want to die

All I want is for it all to be over

Is that too much to ask for?

-Nobody seems to understand that

Why won't they?

Why won't you?

You could at least try…

-My past… haa

The only think I can turn to

The only thing that understands

Haa… I wonder why that is

-My past is the one thing that understands

Because I am the only one that understands it

We kind of do a 'switch trade'

I take from It, It takes from me

-I want to take away the pain

But it only gives me more

I want to burn away the memories

But it only comes up with more

-For some reason

It has an endless supply

It won't go away

It's everlasting

-No matter what my will may be

It's always the complete opposite

It makes me stop pretending

Makes me realize the truth

-The truth that I want to be a lie

The reality I wish was just a nightmare

Go away

And leave me be

-I'm going to go away one day

A place where my past can't find me

I won't find it

Maybe I want to find myself

-I won't mind really

If I can't find myself

Maybe I wouldn't be able to reflect then

That's one of my worst qualities

-I can't get rid of it though

It won't let me be

And for some reason I can't

Which is why I want to lose myself

-Let me swim in my ocean of darkness

My sea of memories, dreams nightmares

Lies, betrayal, defeat, blood and pain

Let me be free

-I want to get away from here

Break my chains

Cast them into hell

Let them burn in the heat of one million fires

-The fires of hurt and pain -



I wrote this poem on 07.Febuary.2005. Yea, I was in 3rd period (Japanese) and I just started writing down things and this was the result…horrible, I know. x.x But I think that I might post up my poetry on here…I'm not sure. Feel free to let me know what you people think though.