Pointless Noize: This is my little version of MTV's "The Real World." 'Cept mine is better, of course. /Cough/ Well, anyway, this is the part where the housemates meet each other. This isn't a cast full of Mary-Sues or anything; these are some pretty famous people. I will be there myself, of course, because I've always wanted to do one of those Self-Insertion fics. Oh, and the rules for The Real World are most likely messud up, so yeah. So without further ado…The Real World Sucks.


Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, I know christen the Real World season 976 open! /Cuts ribbon with over-sized novelty scissors/ Yay! Now we can watch in awe as six complete strangers live together for, oh, I dunno, let's say three months. Yeah, that sounds good.

Crowd: /Cheers/ Now our lives have meaning again!

Announcer: They sure do. All right people, let's head for the cameras!

/Camera room. Everyone is packed in, some eating popcorn, others playing Ping-Pong. After what seems like ages, the doors open and our lovable cast starts to arrive. /

/A young girl enters (ME!!!). She has shoulder length, dark brown hair, AWESOME glasses, and she's wearing black jeans, and a Z? long-sleeved T-shirt. She looks bored. /

MooseyDoom777 (A.K.A. Riz): /Sarcastically/ Wow, isn't this exciting. I wonder who else is coming?

/The doors open again, this time revealing a tall man with brown hair. He is wearing a long white robe, and a halo adorns the top of his head. /

Riz: Gasp! Jesus Christ!

Jesus: What?

Riz: Nothing. It's a figure of speech.

Jesus: Oh.

Riz: Wow…I never thought I would meet you! Not until I died and went to heaven, of course.

Jesus: You mean Hell.

Riz: What?

Jesus: Nothing.

Riz: Wow! Who could possibly be more amazing than you?

/As if on cue (and by-golly, nothing is on cue in Reality Television!) another figure enters the house. It is another man, and he is wearing a nazi uniform (Gee, who could it be?). He has dark brown/black hair, and a little moustache-thingy on his face. Guess who it is. Go on, guess. /

Riz: Gasp! Surely this cannot be! You...you're dead!

Jesus: Hey, you weren't that shocked to see me! What gives?

Riz: I was recently diagnosed with low adrenaline level, like on that truck commercial.

Jesus: Oh, I'm sorry.

Hitler: Vwat truck commercial var you valking a-boot?

Riz: You actually talk like that?

Hitler: No, the afterlife is just really boring. I needed something to do.

Riz: Cooooooooooooool………./Stares in awe, giving off the impression that if you jammed a large stick in her eye, she wouldn't notice. /

Hitler: …Why is she staring at me like that?

Jesus: Your presence amazes her.

Hitler: /Nods, understanding/ Oh.

Jesus: I sense someone coming! 'Tis the evil one!

Riz: /Snaps out of daze/ Satan? Satan is coming here?! (BLU reference)

Jesus: No, worse!

/The doors open YET AGAIN to reveal…dun dun dun…Paris Hilton!!!! AHHHHH!!!/

Paris: Hi everybody! Hope you don't mind that I'm hic a little drunk.

Jesus: Not even my divine power can save this girl!

Hitler: Paris? Like "Paris, France"? Must…kill...France! Gargh! / Dives forward. Paris moves out of the way (Awww…) and he crashes into the floor. /

Riz: That was…memorable. Who else is coming?

Hitler: /Rubbing his head/ Wasn't there supposed to be some fangirl coming?

Riz: I'm already here.

Hitler: No, I'm pretty sure it wasn't a South Park, Invader Zim, or JtHM fangirl.

Riz: How do you know all that?

Hitler: /Spooky grin/ I know evvvvvvvverything…

Jesus: Christ, that is creepy.

God: /From somewhere up above/ Son, what have I told you about using your name in vain?

Jesus: Sorry, Dad.

Riz: Hey! I see the fangirl! Ooh, I know her! It's DracosMyGuy! Hey, over here! HEY!!!

/A girl around Riz's age steps inside. She's wearing a black shirt with a picture of Draco Malfoy on the front, and a black and green skirt to match. Her hair is also streaked green, to show her Slytherin pride. /

Hitler: How do you know her?

Riz: We met at the last "Super Obsessive Fangirl Convention."

Hitler: …ze what?

DMG: /Spots Riz and runs over/ Hey! I haven't heard from you in over five minutes! Don't you like me anymore? Huh? Sniff /Breaks into tears/ Nobody like me!!! WAHHHH!!!!

Paris: Whoa, there's a munchkin! Hi little guy, wanna make a sex tape with me?

DMG: Ew, no way.

Mysterious voice: Stop right there!

All: Gasp!

/The voice is revealed to be…Johnny Depp! What the…how the Hell did that happen? /

Johnny: I never pass by a munchkin in distress!

Riz/DMG/Paris: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!

Jesus: OMG!!!! IT'S JOHNNY DEPP!!!!!! /ScreamsFaints/

Hitler: Who the Hell is Johnny Depp?

DMG: Only the sexiest man EVER!!! Besides Draco, that is.

Riz: Yeah, haven't you seen Edward Scissorhands? Or Pirates of the Caribbean? Or…

Paris: He's so hot, he won't even go out with me!

Riz: …Or What's Eating Gilbert Grape?

DNG: Look at his hair! I must touch it!

Riz: …Or Secret Window?

Paris: Forget it, he's mine.

DMG: Oh yeah? Bring it, bitch.

Riz: …Or--/ Gets cut off by Hitler/

Hitler: /Angry/ Okay I get it. Sheesh, you can stop now.

Jesus: Ow, my head. What happened? /Gets hit by a lamp thrown my DMGLooses consciousness, YET AGAIN/

Paris: How dare you! Take that! /Starts singing/ Hit me baby one more time…

DMG: Gah! It burns!

Riz: Cat fight!

Jesus: /Wakes up/ Cool!

DMG: Grr…

Paris: Grr…


PN: What will happen! Will DMG and Paris cat-fight? Or will they overcome there differences and respect one another? Probably not! Unless they get some help from a special mystery guest! Who will it be? Only I know, because I'm just that damn cool! Reviews are greatly appreciated, so review damnit! 'Lest I send my vicious squirrel minions to attack thee.

Johnny: Review and tell her to give me more lines. I feel left out.

Riz: Well blah blah blah your needs! I gots me a show to run! Whee!!!

Johnny: Heaven help us…

God: No.

Johnny: Aw, damn.