Painful Pain

This is my last pathetic attempt

At understanding my pain

Hypocrisy is my new middle name

When drowning in the torrent waves of agony

Helplessness is the only cure for pity

It's always easier when there's nothing you can do

But sit here, and wait

I used to laugh at the people

Whose pain was painful and it hurt

I used to laugh in light of humor

Not in shame of my twisted mind

If only the fugly slut were truly fugly

And my former love was truly shallow

If only all of those who laughed at me

Understood my pain

Understood the agony that I, each day, am forced to face

When people come and go from my dulling life

Never pausing to remember

The girl they shredded with their apathy

Sometimes I cry…but no tears spring from my eyes

Sometimes I bleed, and cover my arm with henna

Just to make the blood look less bloody

And the pain, less painful

And hurtful

If I were somehow beautiful

Would you love me?

If I could be her

Oh my God

I suck

Life sucks

Let me out