Sex and the Silly Man

By M.P. Solo

Enjoy, but don't copy

"Jason, turn off the camera."

They had only been married a day, but Rei felt as though the majesty of the experience had run its course. The time-honored ceremony meant many things to her, and she hoped her wedding to Jason would promise the best in him. Now, lying in a silk nightgown atop their lavish hotel bed, she glared at her new husband standing a short distance away, filming her in the opening moments of what would be their first night together. Dignity, she figured, had withdrawn its effort.

"C'mon," Jason teased, zooming in on Rei's face. "It's a momentous occasion. I like to catch times like these on film."

Rei's eyes narrowed. "This isn't 'Baby's First Steps.'"

"It's a prelude." A row of white teeth flashed behind the camera. "Part One: Making Baby."

"You're despicable."

"I suppose." The red light flicked off, and Jason placed the camera on the dresser. Rei watched him as he got into bed, drawing himself up beside her. "Nervous?"

"Of course." She smiled as he flicked at the strap of her nightgown, trying in vain to knock it from her shoulder. "We've waited a long time to get here, you know. The last thing I need is to be taped doing it."

Rei felt Jason's hand glide along her shoulder, pulling the strap down her arm. "I suppose I can accommodate," he replied, letting his hand wander along her bared skin. "What would commitment be without compromise?"

"You're such a hero." Rei turned, her lips curled in a smile. Jason responded in kind, then wrapped his arms around her, pulling her on top of him. She laughed as they fought, the hair on his chest tickling her breast and arms. The sensation sent a chill through her body and she hesitated. They were entering new territory.

"Are you alright?" Jason asked, confused by his wife's reaction. Rei smiled, straddling him as she adjusted the straps of her nightgown.

"I'm fine," she replied, sweeping the dark locks from her eyes. "I just don't want to go too fast, that's all."

Jason chuckled. "That's what's on your mind through all this?"

"What's wrong with being concerned?"

"I think you'd go crazy if you couldn't find something to worry about."

Rei sneered. "What kind of husband are you? I can't help it if I haven't done this befo-aah" The young woman jumped as she felt something against her inner thigh. She looked down to see Jason smiling, obviously amused by his wife's startled reaction.

"Dammit, Jason!"

"What, you've never felt the side of my leg before?"

Rei laughed bitterly as she punched her husband's shoulder. "That wasn't your leg."

"Jesus, you really are new at this." Jason slid forward, dropping Rei on his stomach. "You want to warm up?"

Rei tried to avoid her husband's goofy grin, but she couldn't dissuade his persistence. She knew he'd never take a situation seriously if he could avoid it, and even now his mind seemed to be on the opposite wavelength. He held her up to his face for almost a minute before she pushed him back against the headboard, grinning sheepishly.

"Give me a second."

Straightening up, Rei repositioned herself against Jason's legs, feeling his thighs press against the back of her nightgown. She tried to capture the moment in her mind, trusting her instincts to guide what her experience couldn't begin to conjure. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, rocking back and forth, simulating the motion as Jason waited patiently beneath her. Her mouth hung open for a moment before she stopped, opening her eyes to look down at her husband.


Jason smiled. "Then let's get this party started."

"Guh." Rei rolled her eyes. "You can ruin any moment."

"Not ruin, my dear wife. Consider it being put at ease." Jason placed his hands around Rei's waist, sliding her nightgown up to her thighs. She giggled softly as the fabric brushed against her skin, and leaned down to meet her husband's waiting lips. Their mouths locked, tongues dueling within their conjoined arena before withdrawing and locking again. Rei felt Jason's hands as they continued to work at her nightgown, sliding it along her frame until she felt his fingers against the small of her back. She jumped slightly at the coolness of his touch, but settled down and let him continue. The sensation alone urged her to let him, overwhelming her in her state of inexperience. It felt so natural, and yet so surreal that it swept her up in a wave of sensuality, drowning her senses in raw pleasure. Her eyes opened for a moment, searching for the same pleasure in her husband's face. They only got as far as the headboard when something else caught her interest, and she froze.

"What the…"

Two things stood out to Rei as she stared at the wooden panel: the streaks of moonlight penetrating their curtains were normal, but it was the small, red blur blinking against the reflective surface that caught her eye. She turned and looked toward the dresser, and realized then what she was seeing.

"God!" Rei fell off the bed in alarm, leaving Jason bewildered in his state of ecstasy as she disappeared from his lap. She stumbled to her feet, pulling her nightgown back down over her legs as she clamored towards the source of the blinking light. She felt her way through the darkness toward the dresser, and her hand closed around the target.

Jason's camera.

"Rei?" She heard Jason call out, unable to see her in the darkness, and felt positive he wouldn't see anything coming at him either. She scooped the camera up in her hand, turned and tossed it at Jason, hearing him cough as it hit him in the chest.

"What the...?"

Rei shook her head. "You're such a brat, Jason."

The young man chuckled as he turned the blinking light off. "I was just joking!" he retorted, opening the camera and holding it up. "See? Look...there wasn't even a tape in here."

"You're still a brat." She tried to sound harsh, but a faint chuckle escaped in her delivery. It was a moment they had both dreamed of for as long as they could remember, spoiled by his unquenchable desire to amuse; still, what could she expect from a man whose innocence wandered a different path? She shook her head again and went into the bathroom, locking it before turning on the water. A knock followed moments later.


Rei sat on the side of the tub a moment, letting Jason wait in silence. A minute or so passed before she got up and opened the door, her face stern as she looked into her husband's sad, childish eyes.

"We're married now," she said, trying to stay serious despite Jason's expression. "I know you mean for the best, that everything you've done so far is in good spirit, but please…act like it's true love, and not like it's a game."

Jason let his face relax, settling for a smile instead. "I always act like this," he countered. "It's what you fell in love with, isn't it? So why change it?"

Rei shook her head. "If that's the way you feel," she replied, closing the door. "If you want to keep acting like the goofy boyfriend who didn't get any, then that's what you'll continue to be as my husband."

"What? Wait, I-" The door was closed before Jason could finish his sentence. His brow furrowed, and he banged on the door. "Rei! Abstinence isn't going to start a family, you know!"

He continued banging for about a minute before Rei opened the door, glancing around it. She looked up at Jason, and a wry grin spread across her face

"We'll adopt."