"I Always Loved Trying The Patience Of Futility"

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And my love for you was falling and fading,
My heart beat like a drum,
Just like the one on that fateful, rainy day.

And even though they said it wouldn't work,
It was worth the effort, oh, it was,
I always loved trying the patience of futility.

The poison of your absence ran cold through my veins,
And even though I survived,
I don't recall the worth of this outcome.

I'm better off without you,
I'm better off betrayed.
And even though I'm not dead,
I feel that kind of shame.
The kind that keeps you up at night,
The kind that kills your dreams.
The kind that chokes you in your throat,
And brings you off your knees.
When I look around,
I lose my sight from all the senses.
And as I tried to crawl,
Your heart crashed through all my defenses.
I'm tired of the games,
I don't know what to do.
My life was always so easy,
When it came to being with you.
And as my heart skips the beats,
Of all those times we said we cared.
I slowly start to realize,
That you're the one who never shared.
Their true feelings with the others,
Or the ways they would have lived.
This is all that I can live for,
I only have one thing to give.
And this is where I give up,
At least that's what they said.
And if I've been betrayed,
Then please just take my head.
Because I could never bare to live,
The rest of my life without my heart.
And since I can do without the rest,
My head would be where you should start.
So please take this seriously,
As I don't know what else to do.
And the only thing that I recall,
Is how much I thought I loved you.