Security


Security

It holds you when you need a hug

It is armed with an ocean when you're on fire

And it is there with a bucket that could fit the world

When you cry your own oceans

Always prepared to make you feel better

Offer you laughter

Pitch it to you

Make it look desirable

And finally deliver the smiles that make you feel so warm inside

Lend you a jacket when chills erupt from your heart

Or from the elements themselves

Wrap up regret in a package of poetic words

Or in a more simple way

Seven little numbers, seven little beeps

Two little words that mean the world

"I'm sorry"

It forgives you when you may have crossed the line

Or made a dumb mistake

Stupid decision

Double-sided misjudgement

Or maybe said something insensitive

It will lend you a pillow

Soft, clean, fresh

To scream into so the rest of the world won't flock to you

Crowd around you in bafflement

It will listen to every word you say

Try to remember it all, but nothing's perfect

However judgemental it may seem

It tries to be unbiased, it really does

And it's not so much the actual happening that counts

But the trying

The fact that it is willing to try its hardest to not upset you

It is never afraid to be a little goofy

Or extremely goofy

Encourage you to dance as if you could care less

Until you stop pretending

And you really could care less

Always ready to have a good time

Always ready to listen to a good story

Always ready to let you cry

Always willing to give up its precious time

For yours

It kids around in an attempt to convince a smile out of you

Tries so hard to make peace

However war-like it seems sometimes

Deep down, it cares so much

Couldn't stand being without you

Needs to talk with you and see you everyday

Wants to help you feel great in your heart when you're pissed off

When you just want to scream and shout your lungs out

In a desperate cry for help

It's there for you

You don't have to waste your voice

It's always been there

No need for the loneliness

It will always be there

Right?

There will come a day

When the security I cling to will not be there anymore

There will come a day

When I will be swiped from everything I know

And be planted in a foreign place

With alien security

No security at all

And if all I can feel now is regret

For all the mistakes

For all the fights

For all the sheer dumbness

For all the trouble

For all the unneccesary drama

For all the misunderstandings

For all the unfair judgements

For all the wasted time

For all the rejected talks

For all the insensitivity

For all the madness

For all the petty issues

For everything

And anything

That I might have caused

That wasted a single moment that my security and I

Could have been talking

Could have been laughing

Could have been hanging out

Could have been hugging

Could have been supporting eachother

Could have been making a difference

Could have been changing ourselves for the better

Could have been working things out

Could have been logical

Could have been selfless

Could have been sympathetic

Could have been calm

Could have been carefree

Could have been casual

Could have been honest

Could have been there for eachother

Could have been friends

But that's all in the past

And soon, my security will be too

What will become of me without my security there for me?

Who will be generous and make me feel guilty for not giving enough?

Who will be so judgemental and make me annoyed by it?

Who will have the perfect words to say at the worst possible time?

Who will complain to me about guy troubles when I don't want to hear it?

Who will tell stupid lies occasionally that aren't a big deal, but still aggitating?

Who will say the most unsupportive thing at the one time when I need help?

Who will be so sarcastically mean and be totally unaware of it?

Who will constantly ask me if I need a hug at the perfect and most inoportune moment?

Who will freak out over their own imperfections when I'm so much worse?

Who will be so uptight that I can't stand being around them on a bad day?

Who will whine about how ugly they are when they're ten times more gorgeous than I'll ever be?

Who?

I can't live without my security there to bother me

Annoy me

Make me crazy and livid

Drive me to the edge

Without that

What makes the good times so good?

When the hard, metal utensil flies and clumsily clashes with a forehead

When the graceful one falls forward on the stairs on the way to class

When an accidental nap makes two innocent people hilariously mortified

When curl after curl flips and flops trying to avoid being pulled

When the sugar and the sour stuff mix with the lazy ones

When two people's butts are flattened by the hour of sitting on concrete just talking

When the excersize bike, the guitar, and our spanish vocabulary mix

When the chocolate's all gone and two girls go berzerk

When my security and I are together

Anything seems possible

Feelings can be twisted up

Mentalities can be broken

And in the end, it all seems to be for the better

But I know, I shall one day be kidnapped

By the inescapable talons of destiny

And I shall be dropped somewhere else

Far away

Without my security nearby

To define me

I will be a blob of pointless flesh

Nothing to really look forward to

Only dread

Why can't my security always be close to me?

Am I supposed to grow close to another form of security?

What if I don't want to?

What if I enjoy the company I'm in now?

What if I have too many regrets to let go?

What if I can't deal with it?

What if I can't just get up and leave my security behind me?

I need that security

Security

It's what gets me through each and every day when I just can't think

And it guides me when I'm lost

Well, I'm way off track now

I need my compass

I need to be held

I need to cry on my security's shoulder

I need to be forgiven for my mistakes

I need to get rid of my regrets

I need to let it all out

I need a pillow

I need a bucket

I need an ocean

I need a jacket

I need a hug

I need a laugh

I need a smile

I need an eager ear

I need a goofy dance

I need a friend

I need my security

To get me through this

Until the bittersweet end

Where everything will have been resolved

Where everything will be so tearful

Where everything will mean so much

Each word

Each sarcastic comment

Each mean saying

Each inside joke

Each encouragement

Each putdown

Each poke

Each Jolly Rancher

Each giggle

Each laugh

Each smile

Will mean so much

Will mean the most

As my security does

As my friends do