1)Life's tough for the pretty girls

There's just not much you can do

You scrub and you moan til someone comes

And decides to marry you.

2)Wizards just want to show you their wands,

You kiss some toad who won't phone,

And cos the feminist cause just isn't yours,

The dragons won't leave you alone.

3)Local guys? No thanks, they weren't my style

They stank and the they drank and they farmed,

Though lines that they used made some girls blush

I was left far from charmed.

4)"Oh the sky's red tonight, baby

So I should give you fair warning

Come home with me- you shepherds delight

Make a farm hands morning"

5)Like I said, no thanks

So I bided my time

Then my sisters got their chance

Which meant I got mine

6)Well you know the story

Oldest trick in the book

I 'forget' my slipper

So Prince has to go look…

7)Happy ever after?

Not quite it seems

Charming liked the woodsman

Better than me.

8)So I told his daddy

Whose beard went quite grey

'CosCindy's a bitch

And his son is gay.

9)So I should have known better

But beggars can't chose.

Just don't marry a man

Who picked you for your shoes.